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What Would Happen if Real Moms Were Treated Like Celeb Moms?

Photograph by Twenty20

Recently I saw a story on a celebrity site and the headline read, “Pregnant Hannah Jeter Steps Out in Denim Mini Dress.” Hannah is the wife of retired New York Yankee Derek Jeter, so sure maybe her denim mini was more newsworthy than others, but still, I couldn’t help but think of the millions of pregnant women wearing denim minis at that same moment and I thought it was really unfair that their short frock made out of jeans would receive no mention whatsoever.

It got me thinking about how the everyday parenting moments of celebrities are largely the same as those experienced by parents everywhere, yet us "ordinary" parents aren't ever treated with fanfare or heralded with a splashy headline or story in People or US Weekly.

And how unfair is that?!

So I've decided to flip the tables and reward all the parents doing the hard work of raising kids every damn day with our own sensational write-ups. Because simply being a mom is newsworthy enough...

Julie Benton Hates Changing Diapers

Can you blame her? In a no-holds-barred interview with her neighbor, Carol, mom-of-two Julie Benton, 28, admits she has no love for the dirty deed. “I hate poop,” Julie says. The family law attorney reveals that she’ll sometimes let her 15-month old daughter Mallory go a little longer between changes than she probably should. “Nobody’s ever died from sitting in a dirty diaper for five-minutes,” she declares. Case dismissed, Julie!

Melody Kane Says Her Son “Loves Chicken Nuggets”

Keep this kid away from the henhouse! In a conversation with a stranger at Starbucks, Melody Kane, mother of Kale, 4, revealed that she can’t keep enough chicken nuggets in her freezer to satisfy her son’s love for the chicken-by-product product. “He’ll eat 10, 15 nuggets at a time. He’s nuts for nuggets!” Melody laughs. Are you listening, McDonalds? Get this kid an endorsement deal—he's lovin' it!

When reached for comment in the next chair, Christy’s mother-in-law Wanda weighed in on the subject, “Nothing that girl does surprises me anymore.”

“It’s Taking Over Our Lives,” says Tabitha Mcdowell of Legos

In a sentiment surely shared by parents everywhere, mom Tabitha Macdowell talks about the growing problem inside their home— Legos. “It started off with a few pieces here, a few pieces there, now it’s like we have to buy a new set every week.” mom-of-two Tabitha said in an emotional talk with husband, Chad. The couple – who were married at Legoland in 2011 – admit their problem is getting out of hand, but were interrupted by a TV commercial for the new ‘Pirates of the Carribean’ Lego set. “We’re taking it one piece—I mean, day—at a time,” Tabitha says.

Debbie Cline “Can’t Wait” To Have Some Time to Herself

Give this mom a break! Mom-of-three Debbie Cline says she’s “super excited” at the thought of having a few hours to herself this weekend. “I’m really looking forward to it!” the 33-year-old confessed to her bestie Kate after a playdate on Thursday. Asked what she’d do with her glorious, brief time away from her kids, Debbie excitedly shared her plans with Kate. “Maybe a manicure, a cup of coffee and probably even a froyo!” You go, girl!

EXCLUSIVE: Christy Simmons Misses Gymboree Class

Where’s the gym monitor when you need her? In a move sure to raise eyebrows among her parent group, Christy Simmons, mom to Sophie, 4, missed Gymboree class on Thursday and it wasn’t for the reason you might think. “We were just freaking exhausted!” Christy confessed in a heartfelt chat with her colorist. Asked to elaborate on the reason for missing—on purpose—the once-a-week, enriching activity for her daughter, Christy shot back, “It’s just a f*cking gym class!” When reached for comment in the next chair, Christy’s mother-in-law Wanda weighed in on the subject, “Nothing that girl does surprises me anymore.” Ouch! Stay tuned for more exclusive coverage on this and other breaking stories!

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