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After a few years of allowing this junk food phenomenon to razzle-dazzle
my son, I’m putting my foot down once and for all—NO MORE FLAMIN’ HOT CHEETOS! That’s right, it’s time to put an end to my
son’s love of snacking on this edible, hot mess.
There is red powder on my computer, red fingerprints on the
couch and red smudges on the refrigerator door. But when I saw my son’s flamin’ red-tinged lips leaving his glass of
water tinted pink, it just put me over the edge. Get outta' here, you weird, fake Cheetos! You’re gross.
I frankly can’t believe how much kids, especially
middle school age kids, love this peculiar version of an OG snack. Every single one of my son’s friends is crazy
about Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. And it seems
to be the trend among kids everywhere. I’ve
noticed that as much as we all loved Cheetos “back in the day” (still love
them), the snack wasn’t seen as an accessory or the “cool” snack to eat as its
Flamin’ cousin is today.
Flamin’ Hot Cheetos have become a figure in pop culture. In fact, some of you may be familiar with the
video that went viral last year titled, “Hot Cheetos and Takis” by Y.N. Rich
Kids, in which a group of kids rap about their favorite snacks. The talented little rappers and the fresh beat
had me bouncin’ with the hook:
Hot Cheetos and Takis
Hot Cheetos and Takis
My fingers stained red
And I cannot get it off me
What I can’t accept is the ambiguous flavor of “hot” and its accompanying red “hot” color.
The snack has risen to song subject status. There is no denying it. Flamin’ Hot Cheetos has some serious snack
I’ve let my son’s obsession with Hot Cheetos go on for long
enough. Just looking at them, you know
they are bad. The color alone is
frightening. Not that the bright orange
regular Cheetos have any nutritional value, it’s just that we’re used to seeing
“cheesy” snacks being orange. I can
accept the concept of cheese. What I
can’t accept is the ambiguous flavor of “hot” and its accompanying red “hot”
color. What the hell flavor is the “hot”? Is it chilis? Is it Tabasco? Is it cocktail
Last fall, Hot Cheetos came under fire, as several schools in
Illinois, New Mexico and California banned the snack from being sold on
campuses because of its lack of nutritional value and because it was considered
extremely addictive. One snack size bag
contains 26 grams of fat and 10 percent of the recommended daily intake of sodium per
The truth is Flamin’ Hot Cheetos just annoy me. Because let’s be real, it’s not that this
type of junk food is any worse for us than any other type of junk food. All junk food lacks nutritional value and is
addictive, and my son really shouldn’t be eating it. I do, however, allow my
son to indulge in not-so-healthy food from time to time. The problem is that Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and
its pop icon status have made eating it way too desirable for him. He wants it in lieu of popcorn at the movies,
instead of ice cream at the beach. Anytime there is a special snack/junk food opportunity, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos is
right there, smirking at me. Well, your
time is over. Pick up your
unidentifiable, hot, weird powder and get outta my face! And our couch, and counters and drawer pulls...