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The Stepmother Rules

When you become pregnant, society believes it is an expert on you, your gestation and—most importantly—your unborn child. Grocery store patrons have a right to tell you that you’re doing it wrong, friends can argue that their doctor said not to come within 10 feet of a cup of coffee and thousands of blogs will be created just to teach you a lesson.

When you become a stepmom? Oh, magnify all of the little things you are doing “wrong” by about 18,000 and add in a healthy dose of, “But you’re not a real mom.” Let marinate for, oh, EVER.

So here, stepmamas: I’ve made it simple for you. Follow these rules on being a stepmom, as deemed by society and the “experts,” and you’ll never have to worry again!

RELATED: What Not to Say to a Stepmom

1. Don’t treat your stepchildren like they are your own because they have enough love from their real mother.

2. Treat your stepchildren like they are your own because there’s no such thing as “too much love.”

3. Know your place and don’t get too involved with your stepchildren’s lives.

4. Be interested in your stepchildren's lives so they know you care!

5. Stepfamilies are not traditional families and should seek counseling and therapy.

6. Stepfamilies are families! Genetics are not needed to make a family.

7. Introduce yourself to the children’s mother so she feels comfortable around you.

8. Let the children’s mother approach you first. She may not be ready to meet you.

Stepmoms are evil. Just go with it.

9. Remember that your stepchildren are not yours. Do not say they are yours. You have no rights to them.

10. Your stepchildren are your children, too. Don’t let them feel like they aren’t.

11. Your marriage will be stronger because of your stepchildren.

12. Your marriage will fail because of your stepchildren.

13. Being a stepmom is a burden.

14. Being a stepmom is so rewarding!

15. If you think being a stepmom is hard, you’re wrong. It’s not.

16. If you think being a stepmom is fun, you’re wrong. It’s not.

17. You should let your husband make all the parenting and disciplinary decisions.

18. You should help your husband make all the parenting and disciplinary decisions.

19. Your stepchildren’s mother will hate you.

20. You will hate your stepchildren’s mother.

21. There’s no way to have a relationship with your stepchildren’s mother. She doesn’t have to give you the time of day.

22. Your stepchildren’s mother should have a relationship with you.

RELATED: Back to Being the Stepmom

23. You should love your stepchildren and create memories with them.

24. You should keep your distance from your stepchildren.

25. And, no matter what you do, everyone’s going to believe the fairy tales: Stepmoms are evil. Just go with it.

See? Being a stepmom is totally simple. It’s just like being a parent, only harder because, well ... you know. We’re not parents.

(Except that we are. Stay strong, stepmamas!)

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