You've probably bought a lot of ice cream this summer. As the dog days of August wind down, here's a (very unscientific) guide to your child’s destiny based on his or her favorite ice cream flavor.
Your child refuses to eat anything but chicken nuggets and hotdogs. He is suspicious of anything you tell him and always asks, "But why?" He is fascinated by electricity, fire and how things are made, so make sure you put locks on all of your cabinets. He will grow up to host a radio show on NPR and write a memoir of his idyllic childhood.
Cookies and Cream
Your child wears cowboy boots with her ballet tutu. She studies bird feathers under a microscope and keeps them in your sequined purse you use for holiday parties. She always seems to be covered in glitter, but you have no idea where it came from. She will grow up to be a fashion designer but will give up the fame for her true love, science.
Your child is a budding artist. He draws, he paints, he builds sculptures from items he found in your kitchen trash can. He broods over his brush strokes, never hears you call him for dinner because he’s engrossed in his art and uses up all of your tape trying to build a robot. Don’t get too frustrated with him, he is destined to be the next Steve Jobs or Pablo Picasso.
Your child is a free spirit—so free, in fact, that you worry about her adolescence. Don’t be concerned. After a slightly bumpy road in high school during which you will think you are losing your mind, she will make you proud by leading peace protests in college, then going on to law school and dedicating her life to non-profit work and her six rescue dogs.
Your child isn’t good at making choices. And why should he be, when there are so many good things in the world? He wears long sleeve shirts with shorts, plays baseball with a tennis racket and never knows what he wants for his birthday. He will switch majors three times in college before double majoring in English and business. Then he’ll open a bookstore that also serves coffee and offers childcare.
Your child loves surprises and sees the magic in everything. She will often be late to school because she stopped to watch a butterfly or dance in the rain. She loves confetti and fireworks and collects pretty rocks she’s found. She’ll take acting classes at NYU, appear in some off-Broadway productions and then make her mark as an indie film star.
Your child knows that life is tough sometimes. He loses sleep over the injustices in the world (like early bedtimes and having to pick up his toys) and is happy to regale you with a list of reasons he should be allowed to take a bath by himself. He will grow up to be a professor of philosophy at a state university and have three children of his own who will never pick up their toys.
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Your child marches to the beat of his own drum. This is a kid who likes Brussels sprouts and lays out his clothes for school the night before. He’s a miniature adult, often reminding you to eat better and brush your hair. You ask him to show you how your Google calendar works. He’ll grow up to be a family therapist (and vegan).