My mornings usually start with a little social media while I suck back too much caffeine. I scroll and sip in between combing my daughter's hair, getting lunches together and shouting orders to my kiddos, all the while telling myself I will get all my shit done when I have a minute. And then a minute turns into an hour or so. Even though this leads to me running around in a frantic state to catch up, I can't seem to quit my procrastinating.
Maybe I work better under pressure, or maybe in order to be my best self, I need a little something in the morning (and afternoon ... and evening) to breathe a bit of life into me.
This procrastination trend goes on for the whole day.
In the shower
A hot shower alone is a great start (or end) to the day. And when you make it through a wash, rinse, repeat without interruption it is tempting to see if you can get that deep conditioning treatment into your locks, then try to shave both legs. At this point, your fingers turn into prunes and you really should make sure your kids have not tried to repot the prized orchid, or see if they tried their hand at peanut butter-painting the walls again, but the water running down your back is reason enough to stay in there for a few more minutes and daydream about Ashton Kutcher paying you a visit in the very near future. The kids can arrive a little late to school today, it's worth it.
In the car
Whether this happens after running countless errands or a fun night out with your best girl, being in the car alone is a luxury only a mom can understand. We are always playing Uber drivers, making sure everyone's schedules stay on track. So when you get to listen to your music as loud as you want and sing without criticism you find yourself taking the long way home, sitting in their car clutching a Starbucks drink in the parking lot, or maybe even just hanging out a little longer in the driveway once you pull in because the heated seat mixed with the sounds of silence must be what heaven feels like. And you can do those seven loads of laundry that are waiting for you later. Lord knows they aren't going anywhere.
What starts out as a very innocent idea to sit down for a moment and catch up on your favorite show you haven't been able to watch all season because it's on way past your bedtime (you will watch one episode, then start dinner) turns into, "OMG, what is going to happen next? Must watch all four episodes, everyone can scrounge and make their own damn dinner and also, someone please get mama a glass of wine." Your family is perfectly capable of feeding themselves tonight, and you are pretty sure they will all make it, and you will not if you have to stop this delicious binge session right now.
You try to get to sleep at a reasonable hour because you are utterly exhausted, so you snuggle in bed wearing your favorite T-shirt and clutch your phone. You are just going to quickly check a few things. Four hours later you have watched 45 funny cat videos on YouTube, somehow ended up on your sister's ex- boyfriend's cousin's best friend's Facebook page and have 24 items in seven different carts. Maybe you can nap for a second tomorrow while you are waiting in the pickup line.
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Maybe none of this is procrastination. Maybe moms are just really good at rationalizing why we should get to sneak some time in for ourselves in between the chaos and meeting of everyone else's needs. We steal a little sleep here, and a little family dinnertime there so we get to have some fun too, even if it means paying for it later. Because at the time, it really feels worth it.