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What Trump’s Victory Feels Like to Someone Who Was Molested

Photograph by Twenty20

I was molested as child. I didn’t tell anyone right away. It was actually hard to wrap my brain around it. I was a child after all. I had no experience with being wanted in that way, or with being touched that way. I thought it was my fault. I thought I let it happen. I thought there was a reason why it happened to me instead of someone else.

Years later, when I was able to wrap my head around it, when I did tell, nothing happened. Nothing happened to my molester; he was not punished in any way. What happened to me was crushing. I wasn’t taken seriously. I was expected to just “get over it.” I was judged for not having said anything earlier. I was dismissed, and so was my pain.

My molester was confronted—not by me—but by the person I wanted to be my advocate, the person I wanted to hold him accountable. You know what happened? He didn’t deny it. He simply said, “it wasn’t that bad.” That’s all it took to get him off the hook.

What happened to me is an open secret in my family, and to this day, he faces no consequences for it. I, on the other hand, continue to suffer. I don’t get to go to family gatherings or events where he will be because I don’t want him around me or my children. If I never see him again, it will be too soon.

I am old enough now to know that it wasn’t my fault, that I did nothing to make it happen and that even though I didn’t tell him to stop, it doesn’t mean he didn’t molest me because children CANNOT give consent. Period. End of story.

For me, Trump’s win feels like I’m being molested all over again. I will hold him accountable, though. I will speak up for my daughters’ sake and for the sake of all of us.

I wish I could tell you that he was the only person who has ever molested me or sexually assaulted me, but he is not. I was molested by another man as well when I was a child and in my life, I have been "grabbed by the pussy" six times. SIX TIMES!

Once by a pediatrician when my mother wasn’t looking, once in high school by a fellow student who terrified me, and the rest of the times while out in public at crowded events. I never asked for it. I never deserved it.

I am not a meek or weak person, but I have been traumatized. I do not feel safe in crowded places, and now that a man who was caught on tape saying that he could “grab them by the pussy” has been elected to be the next President of the United States of America, I don’t feel safe in this country, and I genuinely fear for my daughters.

It’s like when my molester admitted to what he had done, but just by saying that it wasn’t that bad, he was let off the hook. All Trump had to do was say that it was “locker room talk” and he was let off the hook, too.

For me, Trump’s win feels like I’m being molested all over again. I will hold him accountable, though. I will speak up for my daughters’ sake and for the sake of all of us.

I hope that he proves to be a better person than what I’ve seen play out during the campaign, for all our sakes. I hope. But I'm not holding my breath.

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