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The Summer Bucket List of Every Mother

Photograph by Daniel Montoya

After the summer bucket list of a very ambitious 17-year-old (isn’t their life one big bucket list?) was found in an Urban Outfitters dressing room and after the New York Times published the equally ambitious summer bucket list of a 35-year-old woman, it occurred to me that I needed to get in on the act. I needed to create my own mom summer bucket list.

See, the 17-year-old wants to spend her summer buying seven bikinis and stargazing. The gal in her mid-30s wants to use summertime to research eye cream. Me, I was just hoping to survive ten weeks with my own children. Now I realize I’ve set my goals way too low. There’s more to a mom’s summer than just surviving her children. We moms can have our own hopes, dreams, aspirations and eye cream this summer. Here are mine.

  1. Teach the kids to knock when they see a closed door so I can poop, and scan Facebook, in private
  2. Make a summer playlist that doesn’t have “Moana” on it
  3. Stop ordering cute outfits I see in Athleta. (Truthfully? It’s the body I want to order, not the clothes.)
  4. Make it the summer of rosé or whatever wine bottle is open
  5. Only say “Damn it, kids!” after 3 pm. Noon. 10 a.m.
  6. Teach the kids to do their own laundry. Because laundry, so much laundry.
  7. Catch up on that Netflix queue and try to stay awake for an entire episode
  8. Finish that book I started four years ago
  9. Go out to dinner with friends and talk about adult stuff
  10. Remember to put sunscreen on myself, not just the kids
  11. Try all the beauty suggestions on Goop, even the jade egg. This means I’ll have to admit to friends how much I secretly love GP and her shenanigans.
  12. Spend less time looking at Kelly Ripa’s Instagram and spend more time being Kelly Ripa’s Instagram. #momgoals
  13. Organize sleepovers for the kids every weekend ... at other people’s homes
  14. Master Snapchat, or ask 6-year-old daughter for tutorial
  15. Rollover all Dave & Buster's cards into one
  16. Use eye cream. Screw LaMer. The fake stuff in toddler’s “makeup” kit will do just fine
  17. Read all those saved links on my Facebook profile that sounded smart and interesting
  18. Listen to a podcast so I can have a conversation with hipster relatives
  19. Remember to ask Facebook friends for podcast suggestions
  20. Go to the gym or spin every day for the entire summer. 3 times a week. Once. Cancel gym membership
  21. Remind self to enjoy these precious (long and exhausting) months with my sweet, lovely children (who will spend most of the summer telling me they hate me and that dinner sucks)
  22. Initiate sex with husband. HAHA. Just kidding!

#bestsummerever

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