Please don’t tell me that I’m the only mom who really struggles with
maintaining her friendships and, more importantly, misses them. Maintaining friendships got incredibly
difficult after graduating from college. Everyone went separate ways. Some of my friends remained students. Others jumped into the workforce, traveled or got married and started families. Really, we all just got
too busy for each other.
Keeping up with friends in high
school and college is easy because everything was on autopilot. See friend.
Speak to friend. In class with friend. Have study dates with friend. But as we
get older, it’s as if friendships became less of a priority. This isn’t because
we don’t care but because, well, other things in life are demanding our
attentions. We’ve got our demanding passions, demanding jobs, demanding
spouses, demanding children and demanding responsibilities.
While I’ve noticed
this unfortunate trend among most of my friends, it is really quite prevalent
among my mama friends. Just how in the world are you supposed to be a Mom and a
That isn’t a rhetorical question. I
really want to know. I’ve determined that there are three kinds of friendships at
this point in my life, and I am seriously struggling with all of them:
I miss the days when I could go to brunch at 10 on a Saturday and hang out until the restaurant closed that night.
Friendship with the Stay at Home Mom
Both working moms and stay at home moms work their butts off.
But our lives are very different. My SAHM friends have 10 a.m. playdates, hang out while the babies nap and get their workouts on while pushing
the wee ones in strollers. Linking up with SAHMs is difficult
because our schedules are just so different.
Friendship with the Working Mom
fellow working moms may be able to meet me for a quick lunch date, but that’s if
neither one of us have to do grocery shopping on our lunch breaks. Lunch
isn’t focused on each other, because we are both obsessively
checking our emails. Yes, of course we can hang on the weekends, but that’s if
we’re not swamped catching up with home life, cleaning our clutterville homes and spending time with our children.
Friendship with a Non-Mom
This friendship is the most difficult to maintain, because sometimes
my non-mom friends just don’t get it.
“No girlfriend, I can’t head to happy hour. Why? Well, you know, I’ve got to pick the kids up from daycare. No, not after that either. I’ve got to prep for tomorrow. Saturday? Um, let me see if I can get a sitter because my husband works, too.”
I have to learn how to push through the difficulties and work harder to foster those friendships.
I miss the days when I could go to brunch at 10 on a Saturday and hang out until the restaurant closed that night. Last-minute plans really can’t ever happen anymore. Sure, I could
bring my child along, but I’m not sure if you’ll appreciate how 90 percent of our time
together will be me keeping my kid from licking a knife.
The struggle is real. Meet-ups are
difficult to put on a calendar, and I’m not so much of a superwoman that I can’t
admit I truly miss my friends. I need my friends. I have to learn how to
push through the difficulties and work harder to foster those friendships.
meantime, I’m hoping that my gal pals don’t give up on me.