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Late-Night Thank You Notes From a Mom

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There is always a way to get to gratitude. No matter how bleak or dreary the situation, no matter how tired and worn out you feel, you can instantly improve the situation by focusing on the good in your life and on the blessings all around you. In fact, as I sit here at 11 p.m., on top of the pile of laundry, looking like Gary Busey mixed with Bernie from "Weekend at Bernie’s" after finally getting the kids to sleep, I feel like ass, but I can still think of several things for which I’m grateful today. And so hell, I’m going to write some thank you notes.

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Dear Children,

Thank you for being my inspiration and teaching me about loving and living whole-heartedly.

My 12-year-old son, you are at a weird age, on the cusp of puberty with hormones swirling that make you forgetful and moody with the slight hint of a feathery, wispy mustache. Still, you are so loving and thoughtful. You will still hug and kiss me, and even hold my hand in front of your friends at school. You still take my advice, trust me when I say something is cool, and allow me to use words like “dope,” “sick” and “whack” without visibly cringing at me.

My 2-year-old daughter, you have the energy of a thousand suns. And although it’s challenging to keep up with you, I am grateful for your strong, determined spirit. Thank you for being so unbearably cute. And thank you for reminding me how wondrous the world is.

Always and Forever,

Mom

Photograph by Getty Images

Dear Grocery Store Clerk,

Thank you for asking to see my ID today right before you scanned my bottle of Johnny Walker Black. I know there was no real doubt that I was well over the age of 21, and I’m certain you did it because you are one of those super diligent cashiers that cards everyone, even seniors wearing Life Alert devices around their neck. But you asked me, just the same, and I was giddily grinning and flipping my hair back and forth inside. You also followed it up with a “Wow, I would never have guessed that you were that old!” Oh stop it, you flirt!

Yours Truly,

That Lady Who Never Remembers to Bring Her Re-Usable Bags.

Photograph by Getty Images

Dear Inventors of Purell,

Thank you for supporting personal hygiene and my OCD tendencies. Thank you for the clean, sanitized smell and how it makes my hands feel soft and refreshed and puts my mind at ease—especially when my kids touched the knob on the gumball machines at the carwash today. Thank you for letting me be kind of lazy sometimes when the bathrooms are too far away, and for excusing me from making my kids use those gross port-a-potty hand washers at the beach or Farmer’s Market. Thank you for killing 99.99 percent of most germs that may cause illness within 15 seconds.

Kind Regards,

A Mom

Dear Mom and Dad,

Now that I have kids, I can fully appreciate what you went through as my parents. I now appreciate all the sacrifices, hard work and dedication. And you had four of us. Four children, all two years apart in age. At one point, you had a 6-year-old, a 4-year-old, a 2-year-old and an infant!!!! Thank you for not losing your minds or running away. Thank you for only hiding from us the one or two times I can remember. I bow down to your parenting. But really, the gratitude and respect I have for you cannot even begin to be expressed in this 4x6 card.

With Love,

Your Daughter Who Will Always Be in Awe of You

Dear Husband,

Thank you for your endless love and support. Thank you for being in this crazy thing called parenting with me. Thank you for being my partner in crime, in laughs and “what the f*** do we do now”s. Thank you in advance for taking our 2-year-old out of the house ALL DAY SUNDAY so I can get to pressing things like sleep and getting rid of unwanted hair.

Always and Forever,

Your Loving Wife

Dear Trader Joe's,

Despite your impossible parking lots and Aloha shirt theme, you have made my life so much easier with your prepared meals. Thank you for the ricotta stuffed chicken breasts with marinara and for the frozen teriyaki chicken pack that my kids devour every time. Thank you also for selling diced onions and microwaveable edamame. You keep me at least three steps away from feeding my family HungryMan dinners.

Best,

A Satisfied Customer

Image via Trader Joe's

Photograph by Getty Images

Dear Elastic Waistband Pants,

Thank you for accommodating my post-baby fluctuating belly weight. I realize I shouldn’t even really be calling it post-baby when my daughter is 2, but you know what I mean. It was post baby that I ended up with that treasure of loose skin and extra me to love. Thank you for supporting me and for being here for me through thick and thin…

All the Best,

Trying

P.S. Did you get my joke at the end?

Dear Beyoncé,

Thank you for stopping my 2-year-old’s tantrum in its tracks with your “Freakum Dress” song. Thank you for preventing a melt down just yesterday with “Crazy in Love.” Thank you for giving us the perfect songs for our dance parties. Thank you for being a strong woman. You are an inspiration to both of us, but you are pretty much my daughter’s spirit animal.

All the Best,

The Mother of Your Biggest Fan

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Dear two-hour window between 11 p.m. and 1 a.m.,

You are such a sweet, special time for me. That time right after the kids have screamed their last, “I’m thirsty” and nodded off. It’s a tender time where I sit comatose with a handful of Doritos in one hand and a glass of Pinot Noir in the other, staring at a computer screen. Sometimes I attempt to work, sometimes I watch video after video of jumping pygmy goat babies. But it’s time to myself. And I’m just so thankful…

With ALL My Love,

The Lady Sitting in the Laundry

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