There is always a way to get to gratitude. No matter how bleak or dreary the situation,
no matter how tired and worn out you feel, you can instantly improve the
situation by focusing on the good in your life and on the blessings all around
you. In fact, as I sit here at 11 p.m., on
top of the pile of laundry, looking like Gary Busey mixed with Bernie from "Weekend at Bernie’s" after finally getting the kids to sleep, I feel like ass,
but I can still think of several things for which I’m grateful today. And so hell, I’m going to write some thank
Thank you for being my inspiration and teaching me about
loving and living whole-heartedly.
My 12-year-old son, you are at a weird age, on the cusp of puberty
with hormones swirling that make you forgetful and moody with the slight hint
of a feathery, wispy mustache. Still, you are so loving and thoughtful. You
will still hug and kiss me, and even hold my hand in front of your friends at
school. You still take my advice, trust me when I say something is cool, and
allow me to use words like “dope,” “sick” and “whack” without visibly cringing
My 2-year-old daughter, you have the energy of a thousand suns.
And although it’s challenging to keep up with you, I am grateful for your
strong, determined spirit. Thank you for
being so unbearably cute. And thank you for
reminding me how wondrous the world is.
Always and Forever,
Photograph by Getty Images
Dear Grocery Store
Thank you for asking to see my ID today right before you
scanned my bottle of Johnny Walker Black. I know there was no real doubt that I was well over the age of 21, and
I’m certain you did it because you are one of those super diligent cashiers
that cards everyone, even seniors wearing Life Alert devices around their
neck. But you asked me, just the same,
and I was giddily grinning and flipping my hair back and forth inside. You also
followed it up with a “Wow, I would never have guessed that you were that old!” Oh stop it, you flirt!
That Lady Who Never Remembers to Bring Her Re-Usable
Photograph by Getty Images
Dear Inventors of
Thank you for supporting personal hygiene and my OCD
tendencies. Thank you for the clean, sanitized smell and how it makes my hands
feel soft and refreshed and puts my mind at ease—especially when my kids touched
the knob on the gumball machines at the carwash today. Thank you for letting me
be kind of lazy sometimes when the bathrooms are too far away, and for excusing
me from making my kids use those gross port-a-potty hand washers
at the beach or Farmer’s Market. Thank you for killing 99.99 percent of most germs
that may cause illness within 15 seconds.
Dear Mom and Dad,
Now that I have kids, I can fully appreciate what you went through
as my parents. I now appreciate all the
sacrifices, hard work and dedication. And you had four of us. Four
children, all two years apart in age. At one point, you had a 6-year-old, a 4-year-old, a 2-year-old and an
infant!!!! Thank you for not losing your minds or running away. Thank you for
only hiding from us the one or two times I can remember. I bow down to your
parenting. But really, the gratitude and respect I have for you cannot even begin
to be expressed in this 4x6 card.
Your Daughter Who Will Always Be in Awe of You
Thank you for your endless love and support. Thank you for being in this crazy thing
called parenting with me. Thank you for being my partner in crime, in laughs
and “what the f*** do we do now”s. Thank
you in advance for taking our 2-year-old out of the house ALL DAY SUNDAY so I
can get to pressing things like sleep and getting rid of unwanted hair.
Always and Forever,
Your Loving Wife
Dear Trader Joe's,
Despite your impossible parking lots and Aloha shirt theme,
you have made my life so much easier with your prepared meals. Thank you for the ricotta stuffed chicken
breasts with marinara and for the frozen teriyaki chicken pack that my kids
devour every time. Thank you also for selling diced onions and microwaveable
edamame. You keep me at least three steps
away from feeding my family HungryMan dinners.
Thank you for accommodating my post-baby fluctuating belly
weight. I realize I shouldn’t even
really be calling it post-baby when my daughter is 2, but you know what I
mean. It was post baby that I ended up
with that treasure of loose skin and extra me to love. Thank you for supporting me and for being here for me through thick and thin…
All the Best,
P.S. Did you get my joke at the end?
Thank you for stopping my 2-year-old’s tantrum in its tracks
with your “Freakum Dress” song. Thank
you for preventing a melt down just yesterday with “Crazy in Love.” Thank you
for giving us the perfect songs for our dance parties. Thank you for being a strong woman. You are an inspiration to both of us, but you
are pretty much my daughter’s spirit animal.
You are such a sweet, special time for me. That time right after the kids have screamed
their last, “I’m thirsty” and nodded off. It’s a
tender time where I sit comatose with a handful of Doritos in one hand and a
glass of Pinot Noir in the other, staring at a computer screen. Sometimes I attempt to work, sometimes I
watch video after video of jumping pygmy goat babies. But it’s time to myself. And I’m just so thankful…