My brother is hosting Thanksgiving this year, and this is making
my teen girls very happy. Not because they love their uncle, aunt and cousins
very much (which they do), but because they know they won’t be subjected to the
three-day prep and cleaning frenzy that takes place every time we host a
gathering here at our home. When they give thanks on Thursday it will be
because the day didn’t start with them having to peel potatoes for two hours.
Let’s face it – most teens are not exactly thrilled about hosting
a dinner party, and I think if they were in charge of Thanksgiving things would
be a lot different. Yes it would be more casual, more spontaneous and less
stressful, but there might not even be a turkey and the bathroom would be
1. The most important
thing would be the playlist
Sure the stuffing is moist and the cranberries are perfectly
tangy, but what does it matter when there’s terrible music playing in the
background? With the teens in charge, the centerpiece would be the tunes, not
the turkey. Who cares what chardonnay pairs with yams—Taylor Swift goes with
2. The least
important thing would be the menu
How could you think there wouldn’t be pizza?
Not to say there wouldn’t be any food, because we all know how
teens love to eat. But the key would be ease and convenience. No one is going
to be getting up at 4 a.m. to make minted peas. More than likely, the turkey and
fixings would all be takeout, along with the pizza. How could you think there
wouldn’t be pizza?
3. There would be no need
for fancy hors d’oeuvres
I remember one of the kids saying at a family get together, “Why
is there so much food before the food?” I think every time I spend an entire
day shopping for and then assembling a cheese and prosciutto platter, a pilgrim
turns over in their grave. Teens know the beauty of a bag of chips and a bowl
of onion dip, and I admire them for that.
4. Cleaning would not
be a priority
Since my girls always say, “Nobody notices if the bathroom is
spotless,” they would only take the time to close the shower curtain and make
sure there was an extra roll of toilet paper handy. Obviously they haven’t
developed the skill of binge-cleaning before parties to give the false
impression of a well-tended home to boost one’s self-esteem. I have so many things
I need to teach them.
5. No one would care
if the dishes didn’t match
Since they abide by the theory that no one ever died because the
gravy boat didn’t match the vegetable platter, not a thought would be given to
making sure the table setting was Martha Stewart-worthy. In fact, they might
just put out some paper plates and call it a day. Of course those dishes would
be the bio-degradable bamboo ones because teens are both
environmentally-conscious and stylish.
So, to summarize, if teenagers were in charge of Thanksgiving there’d
be an awesome soundtrack, a house that looked lived-in, an eclectic table and food
that wasn’t seasoned with blood, sweat and tears. Huh. Do you think these kids
may be on to something? Pass the frozen peas!