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If Teens Were in Charge of Thanksgiving

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My brother is hosting Thanksgiving this year, and this is making my teen girls very happy. Not because they love their uncle, aunt and cousins very much (which they do), but because they know they won’t be subjected to the three-day prep and cleaning frenzy that takes place every time we host a gathering here at our home. When they give thanks on Thursday it will be because the day didn’t start with them having to peel potatoes for two hours.

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Let’s face it – most teens are not exactly thrilled about hosting a dinner party, and I think if they were in charge of Thanksgiving things would be a lot different. Yes it would be more casual, more spontaneous and less stressful, but there might not even be a turkey and the bathroom would be horrendous.

1. The most important thing would be the playlist

Sure the stuffing is moist and the cranberries are perfectly tangy, but what does it matter when there’s terrible music playing in the background? With the teens in charge, the centerpiece would be the tunes, not the turkey. Who cares what chardonnay pairs with yams—Taylor Swift goes with everything!

2. The least important thing would be the menu

How could you think there wouldn’t be pizza?

Not to say there wouldn’t be any food, because we all know how teens love to eat. But the key would be ease and convenience. No one is going to be getting up at 4 a.m. to make minted peas. More than likely, the turkey and fixings would all be takeout, along with the pizza. How could you think there wouldn’t be pizza?

3. There would be no need for fancy hors d’oeuvres

I remember one of the kids saying at a family get together, “Why is there so much food before the food?” I think every time I spend an entire day shopping for and then assembling a cheese and prosciutto platter, a pilgrim turns over in their grave. Teens know the beauty of a bag of chips and a bowl of onion dip, and I admire them for that.

4. Cleaning would not be a priority

Since my girls always say, “Nobody notices if the bathroom is spotless,” they would only take the time to close the shower curtain and make sure there was an extra roll of toilet paper handy. Obviously they haven’t developed the skill of binge-cleaning before parties to give the false impression of a well-tended home to boost one’s self-esteem. I have so many things I need to teach them.

5. No one would care if the dishes didn’t match

Since they abide by the theory that no one ever died because the gravy boat didn’t match the vegetable platter, not a thought would be given to making sure the table setting was Martha Stewart-worthy. In fact, they might just put out some paper plates and call it a day. Of course those dishes would be the bio-degradable bamboo ones because teens are both environmentally-conscious and stylish.

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So, to summarize, if teenagers were in charge of Thanksgiving there’d be an awesome soundtrack, a house that looked lived-in, an eclectic table and food that wasn’t seasoned with blood, sweat and tears. Huh. Do you think these kids may be on to something? Pass the frozen peas!

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