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An Intro to MANscendental MENitation

Hello, my name is Guru Handsome and I would like to introduce you to the world of MANscendental MANitation.

If you are new to this type of mental exercise—welcome! In this series I will lead you, week by week, in the development of your MENitation techniques. Don’t be afraid, our method of MENitation is simple, effective and proven to provide you with the stress relief and quality of fantasy life you are seeking.

This week we will build our MANtra tool box from the very beginning: “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step,” said Lao Tzu

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Today we will focus intently on creating our “Top 5.” Many practicing MANscendentalists will know exactly what I’m referring to, but if you are new to our practice this is simply a list of the Top 5 Men you’d like to like to be trapped in an elevator or on a deserted island with. These men could be celebrities, hot neighbors or the guy at the coffee shop down the street. The idea is to constantly update this list as a part of your walking MENitation strategy.

As we all know, our interests and attractions vary from day to day, week to week, so revisit your list while walking through your daily tasks. Swap order, replace members, keep the list fresh and pleasing. Use this tried-and-true technique to keep your focus while standing in line at the bank or grocery shopping. Why abandon your practice just because you can’t take the time to properly sit? The beauty of MANscendental MENiation is that it is a flexible practice, and fits perfectly into anyone’s busy schedule.

Now some will find that their Top 5 jump straight into their heads, while some will spend several days carefully compiling a curated list. The creation of this list, in and of itself, is a MANitation. Take your time, this isn’t a race against time. You are the sole competitor in this never ending marathon, so pace yourself and enjoy the process.

Be kind to yourself and generous with your time slots—this is important work, vital to your mental health.

You can write your Top 5 down and place the list in a visible spot or simply hold it in your mind. Try to visualize it, what it would look and feel like, and pin it in an easily accessible spot on your brain’s corkboard.

Got it? Great. Now let’s get started with today’s exercise...

Ideally you want to make sure you have at least five quiet minutes to yourself. If you are like me, you will be at risk for falling asleep, so practice sitting up. Or if you can afford the time, DO fall asleep—a lovely MENitation dream is a beautiful break in your day, as well as its own reward.

You can practice anywhere—close your eyes in your office chair, pull your car over into a parking space at Trader Joe’s, or lie in the grass at the park. Breathe in and count to five, out and count to five. Repeat a few times, then gradually begin visualizing your list...

Glance over at Number Five on the list, see him? Now let him smile at you. Hug him if you want to, he will always be open and receptive. Then walk over to Number Four and say a friendly hello...continue through the list until you land on Number One. Remember, Number One is your Main MANtra, the guy you will default to when you only have a moment to regroup during the day. You need to be familiar with him, the curves of his jawline, the way his eyes take you in. Harness the way he makes you feel and file it away in the front of your toolbox where you can grab it anytime you desire.

Use this time to get to know your men. This can be done as often and for as long as it takes to really become acquainted with them. The more familiar you are with the scent of their shirts and the way their jeans hug their thighs, the deeper you can submerge yourself in your practice.

It may be five minutes a day for the next week, it may be more. Be kind to yourself and generous with your time slots—this is important work, vital to your mental health.

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Repeat to yourself, “Clear mind, clear mind, clear mind...”

The more space you create, the more relaxed and intimate your Top 5 will be.


Next week—let’s go on an adventure with one of our gentleman, shall we?

Image via Daily Hot Guy

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