Our Privacy/Cookie Policy contains detailed information about the types of cookies & related technology on our site, and some ways to opt out. By using the site, you agree to the uses of cookies and other technology as outlined in our Policy, and to our Terms of Use.


7 Reasons I Want My Daughter to Know I'm Dieting

"Mama," my 5-year-old's little voice pipes up from the backseat, "We should go to McDonald's. We haven't been there in a long time."

I pause before telling her anything, knowing that what I say next might set the stage for how she views her body and food.

I don't remember when I became aware of how I looked. But I do know, from a young age, I always found something about my body to be critical of. Looking back at pictures now, pictures that left me in tears in my 20s crying about how terrible I looked, I'm stunned to see myself as a much healthier girl than I remembered.

RELATED: Girls and Body Image

Why was my image of myself so distorted? How do we combat this in the next generation with a world that feeds our children body-shaming and photoshopped images alongside cheap, processed foods promising comfort? I've never mentioned weight or my body image in front of my daughter. I've gone out of my way to do things outside my comfort zone over the years: swimsuits in public, talking to her about why women look different after we have babies and encouraging acceptance in others because everyone is different.

So this month, as I started Whole30 and cut out sugar, processed foods and grains, I've been pondering how to explain these changes to my little girl. I want her to know why we're doing this and why we plan on making it a life change and here seven reasons why:

1. I want Bella to learn about self-control and to know that she has it over her own body.

We talk often about how our bodies are ours and no one should be touching them. Building slowly from there, as she gets older, I want her to know that we have self control over what ads and food corporations say will make us happy or popular.

2. I've never met a woman who isn't struggling with a body issue.

I am fully aware that, at some point, my daughter will as well. What I want is to give her the mental tools to see her body from a realistic point of view. In the past two and a half years, I've lost three sons shortly after their birth. My body had a hard time recovering. It hasn't been easy to deal with a postpartum body and no baby in my arms as proof. But I've tried to be gentle with myself until I felt ready to make a change.

I want my daughter to feel free from the emotional hold of food, dieting and negative body image. I want her to know that her weight doesn't define her and food doesn't need to control her.

3. Bella's health is her own when she leaves our home.

My job is to provide choices for her that make her options a little wider and easier when she leaves. She may eat ramen for a year, but I want her to know the difference regardless.

4. I see myself begin to change 11 days into this program.

While it's exciting for me, my hope is Bella sees it as more than "Mommy's happy because she's thinner." Which is not the case at all. It's actually because I remind myself daily with each meal that food isn't going to sabotage my health, sleep or ability to be a good wife and mother, as it was doing before this. Weight loss is a benefit, but nothing compares to the difference I feel right now.

5. Two years of therapy has taught my husband and me the importance of positive self-talk.

I'm not saying we go around muttering, "You're so amazing" to ourselves, but we make a conscious effort to stop negative words and feelings about our looks or food cravings. It's OK to crave ice cream and also to make the choice to eat a bowl of it. But beating yourself up after the fact starts a vicious cycle.

6. Right now, my choices are Bella's choices.

She doesn't buy the food and, as hard as she can make a shopping trip when she wants something, it's up to me. We don't buy all organic or blindly run through the frozen pizza aisle. Maybe one day she'll remember that and be able to think about purchasing food rationally, instead of with feelings, as I've done before.

RELATED: How to Diet Without Screwing up Your Daughter

7. Most of all, I want my daughter to feel free from the emotional hold of food, dieting and negative body image.

I want her to know that her weight doesn't define her, and food doesn't need to control her. If I can raise a child to look with a critical eye at a Photoshopped image, and a "good for her eye" at everyone else, no matter how they loo? That would be wonderful.

Image by Diana Stone

More from lifestyle