Every parent has, at some point
or another, looked up one of those charts that tells them what the expected
order of tooth loss is for kids. The bottom front teeth usually come out around
age 6 or 7, followed by the top front teeth about a year later, etc. But that
doesn't tell parents what they REALLY need to know! Sure, it's nice to
anticipate when we can expect each tooth to fall out, but what we really need
to know is useful information about each tooth, like ...
1. Forces you to delete everything on your phone to
make room for 634 adorable gap-toothed smile photos
2. Child sees blood, cries for 45 minutes.
3. Leaves the perfect space for a straw, so make
sure to buy ALL THE STRAWS, because trust us, your kid is not going to get tired
of demonstrating how perfect that space is for a straw.
4. Begins two-month phase of not being able to
understand half of what your child says due to sudden lisp.
5. At this point you're starting to feel weird
about saving teeth, but you also feel weird about throwing them away. That's
perfectly normal! Now hurry up and decide what to do about it, because there
are still 15 teeth waiting to fall out of your kid's head.
6. Check Pinterest for ideas about what to do with
all these teeth; get freaked out by the sheer volume of crafts you can make
with your child's discarded body parts.
7. First time forgetting to play Tooth Fairy;
you'll invent an elaborate excuse that sounds ridiculous, even to you, and
distract child by leaving twice the usual amount under her pillow the next