sure if I ever had a specific vision of what being a stay-at-home mom would
look like, but I probably could never have imagined the amount of time that I would
spend cleaning up puke, wondering how long I could stand holding a sleeping
baby with my arm asleep, or trying to trick my toddler into playing the quiet
But the truth?
That's been a lot of my motherhood career so far. So whether you're a fellow stay-at-home mom in the trenches or a mommy-to-be about to join the ranks,
you'll probably agree with me on a few of these truths about staying at home.
1. You will spend more time
taking care of your house than your kids.
to wonder how on earth any parent who worked outside of the home ever managed
to stay on top of the housework until I realized, Oh yeah, their kids aren't home all day trashing it. You may think
that staying at home is all about the crafts and the playtime and the baking
cupcakes, but let us not forget all that cleaning stuff, because all that stuff also make messes. Kids at
home equals constant chaos, and it's hard to not to spend every second cleaning.
2. Your partner will never
we live in an age where it's not politically correct to say this, but it's the
truth. My husband recently poked fun at me for giving him a "play-by-play" of
my day and I just stared at him, aghast, because couldn't he see that I needed him to understand what it's like
to try to cook and clean and make money all while taking care of four kids in
our house. Except the crazy thing is, no one can understand that level of crazy
unless they've lived it. So accept it or it will only drive you crazy.
You're there, you love them, and that's really all that matters.
3. Sometimes leaving the house
is more work than it's worth.
always extol the virtue of stay-at-home moms "getting out there" and meeting
new people and doing those cutesy Mommy & Me classes to hang with other mom
friends, but you know what? They're not always worth it. When you have a baby
that naps at 11 a.m., a toddler that naps at 1 p.m., and lunch is a two-hour ordeal
of pleasing picky eaters and cleaning up an Everest-sized mess, the day zooms
by faster than you can say "I love my yoga pants." And honestly? That's OK.
Just stay home on those days when it feels like too much.
4. But you need a lifeline.
quickly follow my next point, I will also fully admit that I have a network of
"mom friends" that I depend on. They may not always know it, but they are my
lifelines. Some are friends that I know I can call on the phone in the midst of
a breakdown (true story, happened a few weeks ago), some are game to meet me at
the local fast food play place where we can both ignore the germs our kids are
picking up, and some I know I can count on to vent to at midnight when my
husband and I are having a fight. You need some ladies in your corner to
survive this job, and that's a fact.
5. Half of what you
do doesn't matter.
It can be so easy to get caught up in the
"Pinterest mom" world and think you have to make sure your kids have
educational activities and avoid screens at all costs and always jump eagerly
into imaginative play with your kids. OK, that's all well and good, but can we
be real for just a quick sec? The majority of the time that you will be a
stay-at-home mom is also the majority of life that your kids won't remember. I'm not saying what you do isn't
important and it won't form a foundation that will last a lifetime, but
I'm just saying, relax a little—the pressure is off. You're there, you love
them, and that's really all that matters.
Listen, none of us really know what the heck we are doing, but
most of us have that "gut" feeling when something feels right or isn't meshing
well. From breastfeeding to crying it out to homeschooling, you have to learn
to listen to that inner mom intuition to survive. It's the only way. Even Kourtney
Kardashian doesn't listen to the haters while she's
popping her placenta pills. Whatever works, mama. We got this.