husband and I just celebrated our eighth wedding anniversary. The traditional
gift for this year is pottery. Normally, I scoff at the conventional recommendations.
But I liked this one and thought it would be fun to go to my favorite local
pottery studio to paint a personalized gift for my husband.
didn't have anything specific in mind. I just planned to go see what they
had and what ideas I could come up with. The result? Something I’m calling, “The
Communication Box,” a way to not only bring the spark back to our marriage but also help improve communication.
box is kept in a central place in our bedroom. Next to it is some notepaper. When
one partner wants to use it, s/he writes a note, places it inside the box and
puts the box on the other partner’s bedside table.
There is a question mark on the top, because the messages could be varied. For
example, the box might contain a:
The first note I placed in the box for my
husband read, “Thank you for all you did around the house
this weekend. I appreciate you so much. XO, E.” Love notes are a powerful thing,
and we haven’t had enough of them in our marriage of late. I want to bring them
Yes, this could be for sex. My husband’s
signals tend to be so subtle I miss them. (Whereas, I often take a more direct
approach.) But I thought this could be fun. It could also be used for an
invitation to meet on the couch and watch a movie together. Or enjoy an adult
beverage out on the deck on a beautiful evening.
I’m thinking along the lines of, “Let’s unplug
tonight.” Or “Can we plan a night out?” Not, “Please take the trash out.” Like
many modern-day couples, I suspect, we can fall into the trap of being together
while not really being together. Sitting side-by-side while on devices, for
example. Sometimes, I really want or need my husband’s attention and vice
versa. It’s always good to ask for what you want.
One of the challenging things I have found about
parenting is often you realize there is something you need to talk about but
can’t (or shouldn’t) in front of your child, who is usually with you. So you
have to table the conversation for later. IF you remember. This way, we can
literally table the topic to ensure we do discuss it when we are alone and have
Those are just a few of the ideas I have for The
Communication Box’s use. My husband’s initial reaction to his gift was, “You
MADE this? How am I supposed to beat that?!”