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10 Unusual (and Kinky) Valentine’s Day Gifts for Men

Men can be so hard to shop for, especially on a holiday like Valentine’s Day, when they are expected to buy us diamonds and flowers and we usually give them a card or a necktie (if they are lucky).

This year I thought I would put together a gift guide filled with brilliant ideas from my girlfriends. I asked 10 friends what they would be getting their husbands/boyfriends for V Day, and after they all texted back “who knows” or “nothing,” I was able to get them to open their hearts a little share these cherished tips:

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10. My girlfriend said, “Apparently my husband wants a ‘crisp candy apple green linen shirt.’ Psshhh. Right. I’ll probably just give him a blowjob. Not. HA!”

9. “My husband loved the Aveda body lotion I got for Christmas, but I told him he couldn’t use it. So now he’s asking for his own bottle. I guess I’ll order him one … or I’ll get myself a new one and just give him that one and a box of tissues.”

8. “I bought my lover a gorgeous watch I know he’ll love, and I’m taking him to a hotel for the night.” (Note: These two aren’t married so feel free to gag a little and then steal her ideas.)

7. “Wow, would he love a new surfboard, but I may wear some new panties and get a Brazilian bikini wax instead. Ugh, is that this week?”

If I have to have sex, I should be a little drunk and he better taste like chocolate.

6. “He’s always wanted an engraved Leatherman. I’ve thought about it the last few years, so maybe this year I’ll actually do it. That or I’ll hire him a hooker—what’s cheaper?”

5. “Easy, a guitar. It would make him so happy, but we need new brakes in the minivan, so he’ll have to settle for a bottle of whiskey and sex that doesn’t involve waking me up.”

4. “Cozy socks—he asked for them! Do you think they are for his feet? Ew. Men are so gross.”

3. “IF I got him anything it would be artisanal beer and chocolate, because if I have to have sex, I should be a little drunk and he better taste like chocolate.”

2. “A gorgeous fancy coffee grinder he really wants, but it’s $500. So I’ll either sell some furniture or just order Thai food and let him choose what we watch on TV while I play Words With Friends on the couch.”

1. “A knife skills class.”

“What did you say?” I replied.

“He wants to learn professional knife skills.”

“That sounds dodgy, what’s the alternative?”

“Probably a handjob.”

“Go with the knives.”

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I hope this helps! Please TWEET us your #ValentineGiftsforMen—I can’t wait to hear what your special someones will be wishing you’d get them this year!

P.S. It’s on SATURDAY so don’t forget to shave your legs and stock up on wine!

Photograph by Daily Hot Guy/Jonathan Sirand

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