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5 Signs I'm Not That Mom

Photograph by kristall - Fotolia

I recently came across an image on the Humans of New York Facebook page and, after reading this lady’s quote, I couldn’t help but nod my head in agreement.

Actually, I did more than nod. I shouted and threw my heads up and was all, like, “Yasss! Preach girl!” Because darn it, I felt like I could 100 percent relate to her feelings of just not being a domestic mom.

I get it. We all know that there are several different versions of motherhood. There isn’t ONE way to be a motherly figure to a child. At the very least, though, shouldn’t mamas of this day and age know how to put together a baby book? I mean, these are the basics, right?

Whatever. I’ve given up on trying to be something that I’m not. Perhaps I’ll acquire some skills and uncover some talents in my 40s and 50s. As of right now, I’m pretty sure I'm not a domestic mom. Here are five signs that I am a long way from it.

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1. Pinterest is my guide

Honestly, I don’t know what I would do without Pinterest. Pinterest gives me hope that I could actually fake being this domestic woman, especially during the holidays. I was a lazy mama and did very little during my child’s first holiday season. By the time she hit 2, Pinterest gave me enough achievable projects to make me feel good about myself.

Let’s face it: the domestic mamas aren’t the ones on Pinterest scrambling to put together a fabulous gift for Teacher Appreciation Day. They’re the ones uploading those pins. I can't thank them enough.

2. I just can’t get meal-planning in order

Due to my husband’s insane work schedule and my never-ending flexible work schedule, we don’t always do meal prep as well as we should. I’ve tried. I make a list, come up with a ton of recipe ideas and even go as far as to purchasing said food.

But can I stay dedicated long enough to whip up a few dishes every few days for months? Nope.

3. Most of my daughter’s fine masterpieces were done at daycare

I hope you’re not judging me on this one, but I’m pretty terrible in the creative play for toddlers department. Sure, I can pull out some washable paint. And then what? Do we paint on ourselves? Paint on paper plates? Shouldn’t this be more fun?

If I haven’t headed over to Pinterest to get any ideas, we're pretty much screwed.

Sure, I can pull out some washable paint. And then what? Do we paint on ourselves? Paint on paper plates? Shouldn’t this be more fun?

4. My daughter is 2 and still doesn’t have a baby book

I feel pretty badly about this one, because, c’mon, it just can’t be that hard. My child is 2 and her baby book remains untouched. Why? Because yours truly is intimated by it.

I don't even know where to start. Every time I think I’m ready to start working on the book, I get overwhelemd. Simply writing down dates and blurbs just isn’t enough. Don't I need to gather a ton of pretty stickers? Is there a Scrapbooking Class that I can take online? Or a YouTube video, maybe?

5. I have to call my mom for everythiiiiiing

“Mom, should I use a hot glue gun for this?”

“Is puff paint non-toxic?

“How do a make a Valentine’s Day box?”

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Perhaps it’s my mom’s long tenure in motherhood that gave this lady the middle name “Creative.” My Mom has saved my butt so many times, and she has a super fast turnaround time. Why, oh why, couldn't I get the creative gene?

There we have it. Some of us are born to do it. Some of us learn along the way.

And then there’s me: faking it until I make it.

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