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What Are You Hiding Hillary Clinton?

By now you’ve probably heard all the ruckus about Hillary Clinton and her use of her personal email account to conduct government business. Yesterday she finally broke her silence and gave us some reasonable and logical answers. And by “reasonable” and “logical” I actually mean “huh?!”

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Hillary explanation number one:

“I opted for convenience to use my personal e-mail account, which was allowed by the State Department, because I thought it would be easier to carry just one device for my work and for my personal e-mails, instead of two,” she said. “Looking back, it would have been better if I’d simply used a second e-mail account and carried a second phone, but at the time this didn’t seem like an issue.”

No joke, I have five email accounts linked to one device. And I’m really not that important. I use one for work, one for shopping, one for government business, one for hiding dead bodies and one for cheating on my husband. Hillary could easily do the same. I’m not 100 percent certain, but I’m fairly confident that the Secretary of State has access to someone in IT that could link her accounts for her.

Hillary, I want to support you. I want to like you. I want to root for you. Stop making it so difficult.

Hillary explanation number two:

The vast majority of her work-related emails were sent to the email accounts of work colleagues who were using their official accounts. So therefore those emails do exist on the State Department’s server.

That logic reminds me of people that return things to Nordstrom just because technically they’ll take anything back. It’s a purse and Nordstrom carries purses, so they can just put this back there with all their other purses because it’s sort of all the same. I’m just sending the purse back where it belongs into the general purse population.

Hillary explanation number three:

“We went through a thorough process to identify all of my work-related e-mails and deliver them to the State Department,” she said. “At the end, I chose not to keep my private personal e-mails.” Emails that were, “about planning Chelsea’s wedding or my mother’s funeral arrangements, condolence notes to friends, as well as yoga routines, family vacations, the other things you typically find in inboxes.” She added, “No one wants their personal e-mails made public, and I think most people understand that and respect that privacy.”

Work Email 101: Don’t send personal or private emails from your job. Also don’t surf for porn while on the job. The work-around isn’t to just ditch your work email account and use a personal account while on the job. As much as I want to sympathize with Hillary, there is absolutely nothing in my email that I would mind sharing with the world. Whether the world cares or wants to read it is a whole different story.

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Hillary, I want to support you. I want to like you. I want to root for you. Stop making it so difficult. Don’t insult people with stupid explanations that make no sense and hold no weight. Were you talking smack about Ann Coulter? It’s totally fine, I can’t stand her either. Whatever it is you’ve got on that server can’t be that bad. We’ve already seen your heinous fashion flubs, we already know your husband made some bad choices, and we’ve all got crap in our past. Please won’t you let us read about Chelsea’s wedding plan and your yoga routines?

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