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What is your definition of the perfect marriage proposal? Candle-lit dinner by the beach? A trip to an exotic location? We all have different ideas about romance and what would define the ideal proposal—especially when it's not your first marriage. It can be your movie romance event or something very personal and meaningful to the relationship. In my case, the latter happened to me and it was the most romantic experience I've had to date.
I've been grappling with a TMJ disorder that flared up and knocked me off my feet with on and off vertigo, vision issues, impaired hearing, chronic pain, muscle rigidity and a very overwhelmed nervous system for the last year. My fiance has been with me every step of the way holding my hand, wiping my tears, making me soup because I was not able to chew for several months, and running to the store when I needed something. More importantly, he listened to me every time I need to vent. No matter the time of day or if he was busy, he was there to hear me when I needed him. Every night, he made us two cups of tea, we talked, we held hands and fell asleep. That routine helped me get through many hard days, and it helped me believe that things were going to be alright.
When I started to feel a bit better, he began planning the "perfect proposal." He wanted me to feel special, especially after having such a rough year. He had the ring hidden in the house waiting for me to be back to my old self again so he could pop the question under the stars in Malibu at our favorite restaurant. Weeks went by and my health was not improving, and in some ways getting worse. The ideal proposal was not going to happen any time soon because the vertigo came and went frequently, making it hard to stick to plans.
Actions speak louder than words, and I'm comforted knowing that the man I'm going to marry is one I already know I can depend on when we get to the "for worse" part of "for better or for worse" since we've already been there.
Until one night, I was lying in bed ready to go to sleep, my fiance came in the room with our usual two cups of tea. We drank tea and chatted as we did every night. He looked over and asked me, "how many more ways can I show you that I love you? How much more can I give you to show you that I will always be there?" Not knowing what was coming, I started to list answers jokingly. As we talked and laughed, he popped the question by presenting me with a beautiful ring and promising to be by my side, no matter what.
I've been down the marriage road before, and I can't express how meaningful those words were to me. It was a promise to be there, no matter the journey. Not just for me, but also for my son. A promise that was already being delivered on. To me, that was romantic ... and very sexy! We can always have that moonlit dinner for two in Malibu, and we will. But actions speak louder than words, and I'm comforted knowing that the man I'm going to marry is one I already know I can depend on when we get to the "for worse" part of "for better or for worse" since we've already been there. For now, and for years to come, I'll get to relive that special moment every night over a cup tea with the love of my life.