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My Conference Roommate Made Me Miserable

Normally I do not write about these types of things online but I have been pushed to my limit.

I am about to leave after attending the Mom 2.0 Summit in Phoenix and I have to tell you about my horrendous roommate.

Yes, I'm going there, that's how ridiculous this is.

We both arrived on Wednesday and greeted each other with smiles and selfies and cheers about being away from it all for a few days.

The first night after we got back from a welcome session and a party, she sat in her bed and started talking. "Did you notice that a lot of people ignored you?"

I was taken aback. I didn't feel ignored. I laughed it off and told her that, being from Los Angeles, I had often heard people talk about being ignored by celebrities. So I said, "Well, what if they had sudden onset diarrhea and were just running to the bathroom and concentrating?"

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My roommate chuckled and agreed, and we went to bed.

The next day was filled with people speaking and break-out sessions and, again, another cocktail party.

That night, back in our room, she said things like, "Why don't you have more followers? You've done your show since 2008."

I explained to her I was anti-iPhone for years and didn't want to be on Twitter since it's a distraction from the kids. She pushed, "But don't you see how you really could have launched into something bigger by now if you had done more online promotion and let people know you had some big bloggers and actors in your show?"

I'd known her a long time and thought we could room together, but we've known each other mostly through the fog and noise of kids, dogs, husbands and stress.

I began to feel a bit pissed at this point, but I'm intrinsically meek in the manners department so I sort of said, "Yeah, I know, I kind of messed up."

I tried to feign sleep, and then she said, "I mean, really, people don't even know you that well here. Kind of funny." She seemed to pass out at this juncture.

On our last day, I kept meeting great women and kept trying to ignore my roommate when I'd see her. I went to a session that was pretty damn great, and she happened to choose it as well. During the session, she leaned over and whispered, "You would never be chosen to lead a session, you know?"

I texted my husband a happy birthday and began to wonder if it was such a great idea to miss his birthday for the conference.

On the last night of the conference, there was an awards ceremony honoring people for their creative abilities and online presence. My crazy-ass roommate sat next to me at the ceremony.

"Well, we aren't nominated that for sure," she laughed. I reminded myself never to room with her again.

She went on, "We'll never be nominated because we just missed out on the boat. You with your anti-social media beginnings, and, let's face it, your super fake blonde hair and your inability to make conversation."

At this point, I left and went back to the hotel.

I was over her.

I'd known her a long time and thought we could room together, but we've known each other mostly through the fog and noise of kids, dogs, husbands and stress.

Never a quiet hotel room.

Today, I'm packing up and she's a bit quiet this morning. We are thinking about returning to our families, and they are beginning to take up the space in our minds.

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In about an hour, my bags will be packed and all of the ugliness will be left behind in this pretty hotel room.

I'm going to publically tell you the name of my roommate because she was truly that awful.


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