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How To Booze All Day...Without Getting Busted

Summer fun. Summer lovin.' And some summer drinkin.' And no, I'm not still in college. And, believe it or not, I wasn't even a big drinker in college. A beer here and there, yes, but I didn't really start discovering the true meaning of a good cocktail until my mid-20s (late bloomer alert, I guess). And man....did I have fun. Responsible fun (most of the time) and free as a bird...with a good 'ol buzz whenever I fell whimsy to it. And then I had babies.

And now... well...wine is pretty much all I can pull off (and handle). One real cocktail (just one!) wakes me up the next morning with a bitch of a headache. Fabulous.

So in the name of inciting some innocent fun, frivolous giggles and farfetched fantasies of returning to our total freedom of youth before becoming parents, I propose that we all opt for one full day of being inappropriately tipsy, looped, buzzed, dazed and possibly confused. Find a sitter, because the following sneaky ideas just might keep you happily buzzed all day and remember, no driving allowed.

For Breakfast: Wake up feeling like you woke up on the right side of the bed, even if you didn't. Coffee works well but it works better with a splash of Irish Creme, Kahlua, Hazelnut and/or Chocolate Liqueur. Isn't it a most wonderful morning, dear?

For Lunch: Every mom deserves a healthy, energy-boosting, antioxidant-hearty salad chock full of greens, beans and vodka-infused cherry tomatoes & olives (yes, you heard me). Doused with an easy to make orange-and-ale vinaigrette (hey, why don't you whip up some extra and dip your bread in that) will have you floating to a vacation far, far away. What's that? You need something to drink? A tall glass of innocent sparkling soda water secretly transforms into a wine spritzer when you drop in a bunch of incognito ice cubes. (Just make sure you use white wine... red wine is too obvious and you'll be busted before you get to say 'Cheers.')

Afternoon Snacks: This calls for something cool, low maintenance and refreshing. Scoop up some raspberry, tangerine and pineapple sorbet and fizz it with a quick splash of champagne. Then dump all sorts of fresh fruit on top to cover up those incriminating bubbles (whether or not you choose to soak that fruit the night before in rum is your personal business). Eat as quickly as possible. The last thing you need is your kids asking you for a bite of your ice cream.

For Dinner: A fast and simple whiskey marinade soaked into a prime piece of steak, and then thrown on the grill, is your quickest fix for a super sloshed supper. Keep things buzzing along with a side of beer & carrot juice carrots and you've pretty much got a frat party on a plate. (Beer and whiskey... right?) If you're more into the carb thing, I found a fairly basic seafood scampi recipe to use up the rest of that white wine from when you froze those mysterious ice cubes the day before yesterday.

RELATED: Recipes Made With Beer

For Dessert: And now for the after-dinner sweets (ah, sweets): My most favorite boozy desserts are the no-frill chocolate pots de creme (or, as I affectionately call them: rum-infused chocolate mousse type of things that don't take long to make). These are some of the richest, most impressive and easiest desserts I've ever made and, if you have guests, they will go wild for them. And if you really want to send yourself (or, guests) over the edge, try something that I usually add to cheesecake during holiday time: Whip heavy cream (with an electric mixer) while alternately adding teaspoons of sugar and rum until it tastes like you like it and firm peaks form. Dollop the drunken cream right on top of those rum-chocolate cups.

See? A full day of getting boozy without getting busted... solved. You feel better, more relaxed, more like the you from yesteryear.

Disclaimer: Although the ideas and recipes cited in this post are legitimately delicious and enjoyable, the tone of this post is written in jest and does not aim to make light of any and all guidelines and/or judgement concerning the appropriate consumption of alcohol. Always drink responsibly.

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