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5 Things My Kids Just Don't Get

At this point is irrelevant to point out the generational differences between our kids and ourselves. Obviously, we have grown up in a different time than them, and some of our childhood toys are downright archaic.

What's interesting to me is that we are the ones slowly adapting to their world, rather than the opposite. Our parents taught us how to use things, so the natural way is for us do the same.

But it is not happening like that anymore.

My 3-year-old son sees the screen of the tablet and, while it downloads, he says, "Oh, Mom, is loading!"

Loading? How is he able to use that word in such proper manner? When he says "Spiderman," it sounds like "Simon." But web lingo? That he masters? This goes beyond my daughter, who was mind-blown after seeing a rotary phone with a cord. Don't get me started on when I told her "143" a lot. That's pager slang right there. You know, beepers were the bomb.

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Now every conversation I have with my kids, referring to my past, begins with the words "Back in the day." She hears me singing "Bye, Bye, Bye" and gives me a weird look. I, of course, have to defend my taste and say, "Hun, that's N'Sync. They were my One Direction back in the day."

Why do I feel like I have to justify my gadgets to my kids? It's like I fear being judged by a little kid for not being cool. I was cool. I had a Nokia back in the day—I just didn't have anybody to call. No matter how much I explain to them that I was the original trendsetter on Mario Kart, they still don't get it. Here are some other things that defy their belief:

Mom, why are you searching through that heavy book? Just Google it!

1. How I listened to music

Cassettes, Discmans, what is that? Our kids were born during the iPod movement, and therefore, cannot grasp the concept of physical music. I showed my 7-year-old a cassette the other day. After placing it in her ear and hearing nothing, she asked, "Where do you plug in the headphones?" They don't know what it is to sit next to a stereo, for hours, and create awesome mix tapes, or to wait for the right song on the radio to record it on a cassette. Push, rewind, push, forward, push, play.

2. How I surfed the web

Dial, where? A cable connected to one computer at a time? Like, why? Waiting two hours for a song to download? Unspeakable! Napster and Limewire were my Bible, but I had to suffer them like a dog in heat. This generation does not value the power of patience. If their Netflix suddenly starts buffering, they go crazy. I'm like, child, please, you don't know how easy you got it. I mean, I loved the Internet, but that "Beep Beep Eeeeee" noise was beyond annoying.

3. How I gamed

Let me tell you something, sweetie: Your fancy Nintendo Wii U, with remotes that vibrate and light-up like a disco ball on Adderall, got nothing on my Super Nintendo. I can school you day and night on how to get to the Rainbow Level like a boss. I was so ahead of the game, I carried a pet with me at all times and did not get busted in school. Her name was Tamagotchi, and, although she died on me a few times, I could feed that thing with a click and not deal with waste. Top that!

My kids give the side-eye to many of my old-school things, but I'm getting over it.

4. How I saved my info

What on earth is a floppy disk, and where do you put it? Don't you know about Cloud and Dropbox? I feel like a "Bye, Felicia" follows those questions. Also, why do you have that bunch of videos on weird looking black boxes? It's a VCR, darling, and it holds all my embarrassing childhood moments. Not to mention some awesome videos of Xuxa. If you don't know who she is: Bye!

5. How I learned

Mom, why are you searching through that heavy book? Just Google it! It's called an encyclopedia, kid. These books made me take an extra hour during homework, browsing their indexed pages, in order to get the meaning of mitosis. However, it also allowed me to look at other topics and learn more than what I was searching for.

Our kids are growing up so entitled and used to having everything right there and then. When they don't, they get antsy. Even if they are good kids, they are still used to the instant gratification and immediate answers.

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My kids give the side-eye to many of my old-school things, but I'm getting over it. What are some of yours?

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Image via Twenty20/ronijane

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