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If a child says one of those words, you bet your ass mamas would momentarily put down their iPhones
and come running, mouths gaping
"What did you say?" would be heard around the world. Perhaps soap would be
These are words I have been called and, yes, they sting. I know that they're directed at me in moments of anger. These epithets come out in situations they speaker finds beyond controllable. I know when they're said that the moment will pass. (Incidentally, I have rarely
been called these names to my face.)
Yet, there are three more words which grind at my patience and cause me more discomfort than the Big Three ever could. These words? Honey. Sweetie. Dear.
I can be having a perfectly fine conversation with another woman, and then if/when she inserts the "thanks, dear," it leaves us both hanging in this passive aggressive vacuum of subtle, "I'm smarter then you, sweetie."
Ladies, unless you are over 70, please stop calling
other women names which remind us of a sticky substance that's made a disgusting mess of my kitchen cabinet—attracting bugs and the whole bit.
Imagine hearing your 3-year-old call another 3-year-old "honey, sweetie or dear." We would laugh. Why? Because it's silly.
I am a grown-ass woman. I do not need a 20-something-year-old working at Starbucks to call me by any of these names. It's taking feminism back a good 50 years.
I can be having a perfectly fine conversation with another woman, and then if/when she inserts the "thanks, dear," it leaves us both hanging in this
passive aggressive vacuum of subtle, "I'm smarter then you, sweetie." A place I
do not like to vacation.
We teach our daughters to be polite and in some circles our
elders are to be addressed with a Mrs. or Ms. Perhaps you just want to go by
your first name. But sweetie? Honey? Hell no.
I know there are some exceptions to this. Sometimes people
over 50 like to use this, but it has been my experience that I do not like being
called this by peers and, especially, women younger than me (or even those barely older).