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everywhere else but my midsection. It's a pain, and something I constantly say
I will work on but never actually make the time to do. Apparently, my inability to
tone up my midsection has given women all over North America permission to ask
when my baby is due. I am not pregnant, nor do I plan on being pregnant ever
The first time I was asked if I was pregnant, I was at a well-known
fitness resort in Tecate, Mexico. I was going up to the coffee stand to grab my
morning brew after a hike, and a woman asked me when I was due. I blushed and
told her I wasn't pregnant. The woman didn't skip a beat. She played it off
like it was my fault for looking pregnant and isn't that a spot I should work
on? Umm … yes it is. That is why I'm at a fitness resort, lady.
The second time, I was at the mechanic's, holding my toddler
son. All moms know that our bodies do not look their best when we are holding
30 pounds on our hips. Everything pushes out in unflattering angles.
The woman who asked if I was due had the decency to be mortified when I told her I wasn't pregnant, which I appreciated. I graciously
waved the incident off and told her I'm still working on those last few pounds,
but it is so hard with two kids. She continued to apologize, but I told her to
forget about it. I didn't want to think more than I had to about the bulge
in my belly that was stopping me from looking fabulous in a bikini.
The third time I must have blocked from my mind—either
because it was so insignificant or so atrocious that I never wanted to remember
it again. I do know it was a random stranger, and my boys were probably with me.
If I already have two boys, I must be looking to have a girl, right? Or as the
mechanic gal told me—my kids looked old enough and spaced out enough that a
third would be on the way at this point. I have no idea how this logic works,
but, in her mind, it did.
When did we, as women, feel it was our right to assume someone
is pregnant? Shouldn't we be the ones who are most cautious of asking the
"pregnant" question, especially when we are not 100 percent sure? Men are
supposed to be guilty of this faux pas. They have never been pregnant. They
don't really get why or how a woman's body might change after having a baby.
They see a belly and assume the woman is pregnant.
I remember being in Scotland with my father a few months ago
and he referred to a shop gal's upcoming baby. Now, this woman was obviously
pregnant. I was mortified that he would even mention it without confirming
first, though. Apparently, the woman had referred to her upcoming baby, so he was
in the clear. But still! Not all of us can get rid of that basketball we have
been carrying, which deflated after the baby arrived but still shows up as a spare
tire in certain clothing.
So, ladies, let's just band together right now and assume no
one is pregnant unless otherwise stated by that woman. Give each other a break
as we work on our bodies and try to get rid of the last few pounds. Or just leave them out of the discussion, because motherhood is tough enough without having to worry about the 10 pounds you are still carrying since your last kid was born.
Just as you
shouldn't put your hand on a pregnant woman's belly without permission, don't
ask her when her baby is due just because she looks four months pregnant. You
never know when you will hurt someone and make her already tough body issues