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mommy's on the phone, it's a free pass to raid the pantry.
you can't eat that
that out of your mouth!
at your kid and you JUST KNOW that there's a foreign object in his mouth? Yeah,
that. We mommies know not to panic when there's a ball/ whistle/ keychain/
eraser in our kids' mouths, but for the child-free friend, this one was a
definite freak-out. "What was in his mouth?" she wanted to know. And then she
was beyond horrified to discover that I never found out.
ON THE PHONE!
I could go hours on end with my kids ignoring me, but the second I pick up that
phone, suddenly I'm the most interesting person in the world.
My friend said, 'Um, do you have to go?' to which I cheerfully replied, 'No, I'm sure it's fine!' She did not respond.
know you're hungry, dinner's almost ready
you feeding your children?" my friend wanted to know. "Why, dear God, WHY?!" I
explained to her that it's not like they skipped lunch and she didn't respond.
She was probably googling the number for child protective services.
your bare butt off your brother's head
rendered utterly speechless by this one.]
that blood on the floor?
be fair, it started with my almost 6-year-old announcing, "There's blood on the
floor." I then answered, "I'm sure there's not blood on the floor," but then,
when I took a look, lo and behold, there was a giant red stain all over my
hardwood floors. My friend said, "Um, do you have to go?" to which I cheerfully
replied, "No, I'm sure it's fine!" She did not respond.