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29 Things My Kid Wants While I'm on the Phone

Photograph by Twenty20

We've all been there. The kids are playing quietly, so you think you can get away with it. After all, it's just one tiny phone call, right? One tiny call. No one will notice. No one even has to be the wiser.

But if your kids are anything like mine, they have tiny sensors that alert them to the fact that mommy is now engaging in an activity that doesn't include them.

And that cannot stand. It CANNOT STAND!

So, while you're trying to say hello to your mother/mother-in-law/best friend/ husband, or make an appointment for a physical/ mammogram/dental cleaning, there are some things your kids are going to want. Here's a small sampling:

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1. Who is that?

2. Why are you talking to them?

3. What do they want?

4. Do they want to talk to me?

5. Why don't they want to talk to me?

6. Can you cut me up an apple?

7. Do you want to play a game with me?

8. I'm SO hungry!

9. Can you open this for me?

10. I'm SO thirsty!

11. Can you close this for me?

12. Can I see the phone?

13. I need the phone.

14. I NEED THE PHONE.

15. Can I have a banana?

16. Where is breakfast/lunch/dinner?

17. Why aren't you talking to me?

18. He (or she, if your kid's got a sister) is taking everything from me!

19. That's mine!

20. No, THAT'S mine!

21. Can you turn on the TV for me?

22. That's not the show I want to watch.

23. Neither is that.

24. Seriously, I'm SO hungry!

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25. Can you make the TV louder?

26. Louder.

27. Louder.

28. MOM! I! AM! SO! THIRSTY!

29. Why'd you get off the phone?

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