Raising a toddler is a blast, isn't it? Somehow those tiny little beings are capable of filling our hearts with so much joy while also making us consider running away.
Toddlers are anything but predictable. They're unstable, hilarious, emotional, and the years of raising them are never dull. They are in between being independent and still needing cuddles, and every day of raising a toddler keeps you on your toes.
This is especially true when they speak. You never know what's going to erupt from those sticky little mouths. But I'll tell you one thing, brace yourself if any of the following are said. What comes after may have you running for the hills. Or, you know, the liquor cabinet after babe's bedtime.
1. "Uh oh"
This is an obvious one, right? Nothing good can come from an "Uh oh". Could it be the toddler ran out of ink as she traced a pen along the walls? Or maybe he somehow managed to get the refrigerator door opened and smeared jelly all over the place. You'll never figure it out until you reach the scene of the crime. And when you do, ohm mama you're in for it.
This is my favorite phrase uttered by my almost 3-year-old. She enjoys putting the blame on anyone that isn't her and, instead of getting upset over it, I find it hilarious. What makes this phrase so entertaining is that she usually tells me this before I even say anything. She'll walk right up to me to utter this phrase. That's when I know her toddler guilt is grabbing ahold of her. How can you be upset at someone so innocent and honest?
3. "Mommy, help!"
These two words actually sound very sweet when they're coming from your toddler's mouth. But they're a little scary, too. "Help" could mean help is needed with finding a toy or in cleaning poo off of the wall. Either way, tread lightly.
4. "I've got to go pee pee."
This is a common phrase said by toddlers and preschoolers everywhere, and it's a normal one, right? But don't expect to only hear it during sensible times. This phrase being said at home is no big deal. You'll likely also hear it in the middle of rush-hour as it's pouring rain outside. Traffic isn't budging and yet you've got a toddler who is repeatedly mentioning this phrase over and over again. This, of course, also happens even though you made your toddler use the bathroom two seconds before you got in the car, and you've only been in the car for five minutes. Good times.
You already know that doom is coming your way after hearing this one. In fact, shortly after hearing it, you will probably also hear screaming and/or crying and terror will rip through your heart.
6. "It's poop."
Any phrase that has the word poop in it is pretty scary. No parent wants to deal with poop, much less hear conversations about it. Any phrase with poop in it also means that poop is somewhere nearby, in which case, get those disinfecting wipes and a mop in hand.
The worst thing about this sound is the fact that it isn't a sound. Anytime silence is involved, and you don't have your toddler within reach, you may want to jet, Mama. And fast. Silence could very well mean that your exhausted kid has just konked out on the kitchen floor, but it could also mean your entire house is being covered by coconut flour. That stuff isn't cheap, yo.
Okay, so whining isn't a phrase. But, if it were a phrase, it would be the ugliest one in the book. Whining from a toddler can be incessant, omnipresent and downright brain-busting. It's terrifying, alright.
One "Why?" isn't so bad. It's the dozens of Whys that follow that one. You better believe that more are coming. Why so terrifying? Simply because it doesn't end. You're in for an all day and night marathon of answering "Why?"