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Dad Sneakers & Other Stuff Dads Wear Worse Than Mom Jeans

Photograph by Twenty20

Moms get a heap of crap for wearing mom jeans, granny panties or yoga pants, even though we have a totally valid excuse. You know, the whole" we birthed babies and our bodies are no longer the same" thing. But how come dads never get criticized for their fashion faux pas? Because if you’ve ever spent time around a group of dads, you know they are equally guilty of some fashion emergencies. They might even be worse!

With the new trend of cool kids wearing ugly dad sneakers as a fashion statement, it seems that dads need a major fashion intervention.

So, if you’re a dad and you’re wondering if your tube socks are embarrassing your kids, let me tell you: They are. And, if you’re a mom who's been scared to tell your man his torn trucker hat is a total buzzkill, just pass him this list. And then drive him straight to the mall.

You’re welcome.

Dad Sneakers

Stylish sneakers can be super cute and reveal a guy’s hipness. But if your man’s shoes look like they were purchased from an orthopedist, save those for the gym or for the garden. It doesn’t matter how many supermodels are sporting the dad sneakers trend, they’re still ugly, and so, so wrong.

Mom Jeans on Dads

It’s bad enough when we moms wear mom jeans, but if you’re a dude who is wearing mom jeans, you need a diet, not that unflattering denim. Sorry, but it’s true. Toss your Costco jeans and get a pair that fits.

Tighty Whities

No male over the age of 8 should wear tighty whities. Seriously, it’s hard to take a guy seriously (or sexually) when he’s wearing underpants that are smaller than yours that could easily have a superhero on the back.

If he’s had his underwear longer than he’s had his children, it might be time to pony up and buy some new underpants.

Old Underwear

Guys love their gals to wear lingerie or pretty underwear, so why do they totally neglect theirs? Stained, threadbare and stretched-out underwear is completely unflattering and unappealing. If he’s had his underwear longer than he’s had his children, it might be time to pony up and buy some new underpants.

High School Sweats

Cool, he can still fit into his high school sweats. But unless he graduated last year, chances are that sweatshirt is best kept in his memory box instead of the heavy-rotation drawer.

That Threadbare Favorite T-Shirt

The idea of him wearing that favorite T-shirt from a favorite vacation, concert or restaurant sounds cool until that T-shirt is stained, ill-fitting, stretched-out and threadbare. So, guys, sometimes keep your memories just that. Put on a T-shirt that doesn’t leave you wife blushing or pretending like she doesn’t know you.

That Lucky Piece of Clothing

I’m going to burst a major guy bubble here by saying what you wear has nothing to do with your favorite team winning or losing. I repeat, your clothing does not impact your team. So, if you insist on wearing your Dodgers jersey all season, your family is going to be a little tired of seeing that shirt. Wear something else. Your team will still do just fine without you.

Black Socks

I get it, you got home from work and couldn’t wait to get out of that confining suit, so you slipped into some comfy sweats or jeans ASAP. But there's one problem: You left your black socks on and then went to walk the dog. Now the entire neighborhood knows you are a walking faux pas. If you’re wondering, black socks should be worn with dress shoes. Black socks should never be worn anywhere else—and NEVER with shorts.

Trust me, your wife is nodding her head.

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