The other day, I decided to
tackle cleaning out and organizing the drawers in my bedside table. They had
become junk drawers, overflowing with stuff I don't need to the point I can't
find things I do.
As with many projects of
this type, it turned into a journey down memory lane. At the very bottom of a
pile of papers, I came across my husband's Match.com profile.
I had been very wary of
online dating. In fact, I refused to participate for a long time, despite the
fact friends and family begged me to try it. One day I realized I was not actually meeting men—at least not the kind I was hoping to.
In the less
than two weeks I was on the site, I was propositioned more times than I could count.
I had one less than stellar date. My online dating experience was fulfilling
the stereotype I'd had in my head.
After emailing for a while
and then talking on the phone, we agreed to meet for a drink after work. It was
a "safe" choice. If things didn't go well, we could part ways easily without
having invested too much time.
That drink turned in to dinner.
And a date the following night. In fact, we went out together every night for
two weeks straight. At which point, we each deactivated our Match.com accounts.
This past summer, we
celebrated the 10th anniversary of that drink.
When I showed my husband the
treasure I'd found in my drawer, he excused himself for a moment and returned
with a printout of my old Match.com profile. We had a blast comparing them.
"Friends would describe me as honest and reliable—you
can count on me to be there, to do what I say and say what I mean. Socially, I
can be comfortable in a tux or blue jeans, at the symphony or a football game. I'm
an affectionate person; holding hands and physical closeness are important to
me. You could say I'm well-rounded, but what's missing is someone to explore
and discover with. My match is an intelligent, articulate woman who has a great
smile and likes to laugh. She is a low-maintenance woman who has sown her wild
oats but still enjoys getting out and enjoying life. I like a woman who is kind
and understanding of others. She has learned to be independent, but knows I am
there for her when needed."
I'd also found all the sweet, sappy love notes my husband sent me in the early days of our relationship. When I showed him, he replied, "Aw! I need to say mushy stuff like that more often."
"I am a very positive, social and outgoing person.
Direct and honest. A bit on the sassy side. And am looking for the same. I am
blessed with a great network of friends and a close family. I enjoy exploring,
and will try just about anything once. I can be a homebody or a party girl. It
depends on my mood. Laughter is critical. I love someone with a good sense of
humor. I'm very low maintenance. A jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. (Although I can
go glam with the best of them when the situation calls for it.) Love sports.
Long walks on the beach. A glass of wine and great conversation. Spending a
rainy day in bed with a good book. Laughing until my belly aches. Dancing like
I just don't care. I'm very satisfied with my life, but know finding a loving
partner with whom to share it can add so much…"
We laughed at the photos and
descriptions of our interests and lifestyles. The general ridiculousness of
trying to find your life's mate via computer. But overall, we agreed we had
represented ourselves accurately. And do in fact make a pretty great match.
I'd also found all the
sweet, sappy love notes my husband sent me in the early days of our
relationship. When I showed him, he replied, "Aw! I need to say mushy stuff
like that more often."
We both do.
Because love can easily become buried in the responsibilities, stresses and tedium
of the everyday. Life will get in the way if you let it. Keeping love strong
takes commitment and work.
It is important to regularly
focus on us as a couple and remember why we came to be one in the first place.
We have to tend to our relationship. Give it the attention it both needs and deserves, so it can continue to thrive.