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Motherhood's Lonely Downside

They warn you that your body will change. They tell you that your house will likely never be clean again. New mom books, websites, apps and preachings from all over tell you so much about how your life will change once you become a mother.

One thing that doesn't get much airplay is the loneliness that is a part of motherhood.

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Oh, I know I'm not the only woman raising children. There are millions of us all over the world doing it. We do it with spouses. We do it alone. We do it while sacrificing, and we do it while wearing a dozen different hats. There are so many of us handling this mommy thing.

So why, then, do I feel so lonely?

Do you know what it is? It's time. Or lack thereof. Parenthood robs you of time. I don't care if you're an at-home parent, full-time working parent or a parent who goes to school, your priorities are usually kid-focused. Which is to be expected, right? We all knew our lives would change post-baby.

Few of us expected so much of that to involve friendships getting left in the dust.

It's not only hard meeting new friends as a parent, but it's even more difficult maintaining those friendships. Not doing so effectively can leave you lonely.

Fellow moms understand this, right? They get it because they experience it.

That's how I've been feeling most of the three years that I've been a mother. At this point, I'm wondering if I'm the problem. I think I'm cool enough. I've never had a problem having and keeping friends before. But motherhood took me down an alley that made keeping up with people so difficult.

I don't call as much as I used to. I forget to text. I don't always have a sitter available to do a Girlfriend's Night Out. Sometimes—often—my head is swirling so much with the things I have to do that I forget my friends.

Fellow moms understand this, right? They get it because they experience it.

While my mom friends and I are too busy for each other, my non-mom friends feel neglected. I'm left with a slew of online friends who provide me with support, but they aren't tangible. I need IRL contact more, and I'm not sure how to get it.

It's up to me to make adjustments, to take care of me while I take care of my kids.

I realize this is temporary, expected for this phase of life. I know that, at some point, my children won't need me as much. I will have more free time to sit quietly, hang out with the girls and do spontaneous date nights with my husband. I know that mommyhood consumes my entire life right now, and I'm okay with that.

But it doesn't negate the fact that I miss my girlfriends and that I wish I weren't so lonely.

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It's up to me to make adjustments, to take care of me while I take care of my kids. So, until this irons itself out, I will just have to make a better attempt to stay in touch. Even if it's only a text or a quick call to say, "Hey, I know you're busy, but I wanted to check on you."

It's something that I can do to let my friends know how much I really value and love them.

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