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The Better-Than-Sex Thing You Can Do for Your Marriage

Photograph by Twenty20

The other day I saw a mom friend and her husband on their way to pick up their daughter from our preschool. They looked happy and relaxed, and yet had this celebrity couple aura going on. They just seemed so in sync.

I knew from Facebook that they had done something for the first part of the day that I also loved, and it made me totally jealous.

They had gone on a "day date."

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Even though I'll never say no to a night out on the town, there's something particularly special about walking around as a couple during the day. Maybe it's the simple fact that it brings you back to that time before kids, when you owned the day—when going somewhere with no destination in mind wasn't totally crazy. You could discover a new part of the city, stop for coffee or a cocktail when you felt like it and just simply hang out.

But it wasn't so much our itinerary that made the day special.

Nighttime dates come with a little bit of pressure—to look extra good, to pick a place you know you'll enjoy, to have sparkling conversation and flirtation and to do it all by the time the babysitter has to leave. Spending the day together, on the other hand, is just so much more chill. Even if you only have a few hours to spare, you may find that the connection you feel is stronger than ever. And hey, there's just something a little naughty about lying in a park, day drinking or doing whatever else it is you fancy while the rest of the world is at work.

That's why, instead of going out for a fancy dinner on my last birthday, the husband and I escaped for the afternoon to Astoria, a neighborhood in Queens. We ate at an authentic Greek restaurant, strolled through a sculpture garden and ended the day at a local brewery, sampling a beer flight and getting our pulses up with a rousing game of Battleship.

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But it wasn't so much our itinerary that made the day special. It was that, for an afternoon, we got to remember what it was like to just be together. Now that's what I call an afternoon delight.

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