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Why I Block Everyone I Care About

Photograph by Twenty20

There's one major problem writing edgy essays about my life. It happens as soon as they're published and even more so when I post on my various social media outlets. I spiral into a panic. A deep seething fear:

What did I just say?

This will be up forever, my kids will read this one day!

Am I nuts?

Yes, I'm nuts.

And finally: I need to block everyone!

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I will admit to an ever-present simmering discomfort in sharing my personal life with one to thousands of strangers. For the most part, I don't know them, so there is pseudo-safety in the anonymity. The fear really percolates when I share this stuff with people I know. Like my thousands of friends on Facebook. OK, maybe only half of them I actually know, but still it is a cluster fuck of life, love and business. And the people I do know? This is where "blocking" comes in handy. Thank you, Facebook!

If you're like me, with two baby daddies (one is an official ex-husband), several ex-in-laws, boyfriends, ex-boyfriends and potential boyfriends and/or husbands online, blocking is your friend. You need to cover your tracks, offset attacks of unsuspecting victims, prepare for unexpected explosive devices in the form of scathing emails, texts or, God-forbid, phone calls. Blocking: It's how I assuage the fear and prepare for war. It's blogging offense 101.

If you're going to be published on a major media outlet such as Mom.me, then you better be sure to cover your ass or there's usually hell to pay. Been there, done that. Here's how I roll. You might want to block:

Business Associates Past, Present and Future

As a freelance designer and business owner, I certainly don't want clients or potential clients knowing any more about my personal life more than I'm a mom. That's more than enough information. Do they need to know about my sex life? No. And they don't need to know about yours either.

The Ex-Husband (and his family and friends)

I don't want this to ever affect our co-parenting, which is an ever-evolving work in progress.

For obvious reasons, it's best to block the ex. He may not be so keen on reading stories about his kid on the highways and byways. Or about me. And I can totally respect that. I certainly don't want to be judged by what I share, and I don't want this to ever affect our co-parenting, which is an ever-evolving work in progress. In other words, don't rock the boat. Oh, yeah, you gotta block all his friends and relatives. Blogs travel.

The Baby Daddy Number 1 (and his wife, plus their cumulative parents)

This is my daughter's dad. I write a lot about Aria and the complexities of our mother-daughter relationship. It's all my opinion and perspective. I don't want to trigger, upset him or create any extra concern if he reads about some of our more challenging hurdles. Of course I have to do a full sweep blocking annihilation that extends to his wife, and all their parents and siblings.

The Mother

Always block parents or anyone who could potentially cut you out of their will.

For the most part, I don't care what my mother reads. But once in a while I can get slightly, well, viscous. In this case, I might tone it down. And by tone it down, I mean, ensure her silence with an offensive blocking attack. Always block parents or anyone who could potentially cut you out of their will.

The Boyfriend (and all his friends)

Manboy X reads all my stuff, even the cringe-worthy ones where I, gasp, talk about us. It's for the most part totally humiliating but I assure him it's for "art" and that I take massive creative license to make interesting pieces. Nevertheless, I don't want to freak him out by seeing our personal issues on Facebook. Even that gives me the creeps. I also don't need his friends reading my work and getting personal with him about it. I mean, EEK. So, current lovers or potential lovers, block like your life depended on it. If they want to read your work, that means they dig you and all your insanity—they'll find it on their own, but certainly not in their morning feed between pigs cuddling and those dreadful "anniversary posts." That's rough enough.

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The Ex-Boyfriends

You should probably block ex-boyfriends. You don't want them knowing about who you are fucking now and what you're up to. You never know. Don't trust anyone. In my eyes, everyone is a potential murderer.

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