We all have them: husband stories.
The “I can’t believe he is that clueless” or “my friends will never even believe he said that” kind of "roll your eyes so far back, they just might stick" stories.
It doesn’t matter how amazing your hubby is or how lovely his intentions are, every married woman has stories. True tales that make you want to say, “Honey? You’re doing it wrong.”
Here are just a few tales that have been shared with me recently.
“When we had our first baby I ended up needing a C-section. My wonderful husband took off a full two weeks to help after surgery and spend time with our new baby. The first item on his self-created ‘help my post-operative wife and newborn list’ was power-washing the roof. He ended up disrupting an angry wasp nest and was bitten/stung nearly one hundred times. Needless to say, I spent my recovery time waiting on him instead of the other way around.” —Jackie K.
“On one particularly crazy morning, I asked my husband to make our daughter some cinnamon toast for breakfast while I got ready. Sounds of frustration quickly erupted as my daughter cried and refused to eat it, saying it was ‘too spicy and hurt her mouth’. Later, when I was nibbling her toast scraps I realized it was super spicy. That man had made it with cayenne pepper instead of cinnamon!” — Kim M.
He once got so frustrated with snap-up, footed pajamas that he just gave up and tied the PJ legs around my son’s waist.
“We recently moved and have a big backyard surrounded by trees. I had visions of a whimsical trail weaving through our yard and into the forest. While my husband is usually quite the procrastinator on projects, he got right on this and rented the excavator he needed. I took a nap with my kids one Saturday and woke up to what I can only describe as a huge dirt pit. Not only were there no whimsy trails, but our backyard seemed to also have been a casualty of my hubby’s handiwork.” – Gretchen B.
“For some reason, my husband can never seem to match up the buttons on any of our children’s clothes. Whenever he changes a diaper, he just leaves the snaps undone and the onsie hanging on the outside of their outfit. He once got so frustrated with snap-up, footed pajamas that he just gave up and tied the PJ legs around my son’s waist. Good to go!” — Kathrine F.
“I’d never asked my hubby to pick up feminine products for me before. I just felt like he would probably be embarrassed and/or get the wrong thing. But, one evening, after a long drive, I realized I’d started my period and was unprepared. Not knowing what mess I might be dealing with, I asked him to run into the store and get me some pads. A few minutes later, he emerged with bag in hand and I felt so grateful to have such a willing, helpful and capable husband. That feeling was fleeting, however. When I opened the bag, I pulled out a box of first-aid gauze bandages marked 'EXTRA ABSORBENT.'” — Taylor R.
“My sister and I had our first babies three weeks apart — both were boys. When we went to the hospital to meet our little nephew, the room was crowded with family and everyone was so excited! Our baby had a dirty diaper, so my husband laid him down on the bench in the hospital room to change him. In true little-boy fashion, the moment the diaper pulled back, he started peeing everywhere. With a clean diaper in his other hand, my husband turned him and let him pee all over the floor. All of us looking at him in disbelief, I said, ‘Why didn't you just cover him with the diaper?’ He responded with, ‘Well, I didn't want to waste a clean diaper!’" — Katie B.