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Marriage Can Get Rough, But I'm Glad He's on My Team

Photograph by Twenty20

Marriage is such a complicated thing. We love this person with everything that we have, while simultaneously plotting their death every time they breathe the wrong way in bed. Finding time for each other can feel like an endless hunt for something that doesn’t exist. Sometimes it's like we’re speaking different languages, and we forget why we said yes to this crazy thing in the first place.

But, through all of that, I get to witness my husband be the most incredible father to our children. And, suddenly, none of that other stuff matters. Suddenly, I know—like, really know—that the other stuff will work itself out. It always does.

I think the hardest part about marriage is accepting everything the other person is, and more importantly, everything they aren't. At this point in the game, we aren't changing much. We are who we are, and at times that can be a cause of frustration.

You still manage to choose each other—every day. And that's love.

My husband and I couldn't be more different when it comes to a lot of things. But we try to always bring ourselves back to that fact that our differences are what make us stronger. They can create a harmonious balance, if we allow them to. For example, he loves to explore, take adventures and have a full schedule. I'm a homebody who loves to cuddle on the couch and watch movies. Between the two of us, we manage to have a pretty great life full of exciting adventures and loving quality time.

Now, do I always agree to his "exciting adventures"? No. Not always. Sometimes the idea of packing up the car and the kids and the dog and the gear and driving for hours on some spontaneous trip seizes me with anxiety. But does he always acquiesce my request for a Saturday in bed watching TV and cuddling? No. Not always. Sometimes he gets so frustrated with me, thinking I'm just being lazy.

The balance isn't always struck, but at the end of the day there's no one else I'd want to be doing life with. Through every up and down, every season of life, I’m happy he’s on my team.

Remember to hug your person today and thank them for doing this crazy thing with you. Because marriage really takes it out of both of you. It beats you down. It shape-shifts you into all these different versions of yourselves. And yet, you still manage to choose each other—every day. And that’s love. That's worth it.

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