Well, I tried. I tried the whole raising the kids on my own thing.
I mean, not totally on my own. I do have a husband. But he travels quite a bit. When he's home, he's 100 percent active and engaged but, still, we struggled.
It took forever for me to admit this, though. I thought the struggle was because we were just getting used to life with a preschooler and a newborn. "Didn't all working parents go through this?" I reasoned. But things felt so off, and we couldn't tell if it was because we were self-employed or because we didn't have family nearby or if ... if we just sucked.
How did people do this and appear so effortless about it? Why were we so stressed out and frazzled? Were we not made for this kid-raising thing? Then I opened my eyes and ears and realized what was really going on. People get help. Once I saw the light, I quickly jumped on board and hired some help of my own.
Here are 5 things I refuse to give up, just because kids take more of my attention these days:
You know what? I can't even apologize for this one. I don't know how any parent (working outside of the home or not) who has the time to keep their home in decent order. I mean, yes, technically I could do this. But in the time it takes me to clean up the house, I could be finishing up a puzzle with my daughter. These moments with her matter, but mopping the bathroom floor? Pfft. It needs to get done, but I'd rather spend my time with my family.
And that's why we hire a housekeeper.
2. I don't neglect my friendships
Something happens when you have kids. Your social life gets weird. Your friends without kids don't know how to deal with this, and so you're doing your best to maintain a tight connection with them—but it's tough. Your friends with kids actually understand the struggle, but it's not like they can hang out with you anyway because, uh, they have kids. Whatever. I like my friends. I want to keep them. This is why we hire a babysitter to watch our precious beings. I'm fine being the center of my kids' lives for this short time. But I refuse to forget my friends and not spend any time with them.
And that's why we hire a babysitter.
3. I don't forget about my marriage
I've already talked about how child raising can place hiccups in a marriage. Our marriage isn't where it used to be, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten about it. The only way we can continue to be on the same page and live in harmony is by spending time together. There is no other way around this. For that reason, you're darn right, I will hire a babysitter to once again watch our children. The husband and I don't even have to have elaborate date nights. A simple dinner at a cheap restaurant is really all we need to keep that fire alive.
And, again, that's why we hire a babysitter.
4. I don't take care of myself the way that I should
I don't think I should reveal how long it has been since I've gotten a pedicure. Let's just say my baby is 4 months old, and I was still pregnant during the last one. Yeah. Do the math. I'm not the only parent that can't get around to pampering themselves regularly. It used to be so easy for me but now? Pfft, taking a bath alone is considered a luxury. I could pamper myself at home, but we all know it isn't the same. There's something so incredibly relaxing about getting a pedicure.
I didn't go into student loan debt and spend years working in an industry just to give it all up, or put it on pause, to become a mother. Nope. Aside from not being able to only survive off of one income, we really enjoy working. It's true. I am mostly a working mom by choice, and I wouldn't change it for the world. For this reason, I probably won't homeschool. I'm not exactly the most patient educator, and I certainly enjoy day time breaks away from my 3-year-old, who by the way, is flourishing when she isn't with me.