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9 Upcycling Projects Only Truly Creative Moms Will Get

Photograph by Twenty20

I wish I had a nickel for every time I came across a story that told me how great upcycling is. What would I do with all those nickels? You can bet your ass I wouldn't make a wind chime out of them, or turn them into tiny coasters for squirrels.

If you're a really creative mom, you can put all of your old things to good use while still keeping your sanity. Here's how:

1. Yogurt Containers

Clean eight yogurt containers with mild dish detergent and water and then line them up on a cookie sheet. Fill them up with something that actually tastes good, like steak kabobs or chili fries and then eat this for dinner.

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2. Wine Bottles

Take the labels off your empty wine bottles by soaking them in soapy water. Then, take the wine bottles and put them in the recycling bin. Place the labels between the pages of a dog-eared copy of "Hamlet" to dry. Then, put them in a small photo album and show them off whenever anyone asks to see pictures of your children.

3. Cereal Boxes

Open the empty cereal box on both ends and flatten. Use scissors to cut the top flaps off, then the bottom flaps. Hold with the ingredients panel facing up and then cut along the right seam. Gather up all your pieces and put them in your recycling bin to hide all those wine bottles you just put in there.

4. Empty Toilet Paper Rolls

Look at what you've made, and then have a good cry before finding a real hobby like Zumba or beekeeping.

Start with five to 10 toilet paper rolls. Cover each one with old wrapping paper, then fill them with bells, beads and old teeth. Use Band-Aids to seal the ends. Look at what you've made, and then have a good cry before finding a real hobby like Zumba or beekeeping.

5. Old End Table

Take the lamp off of your old end table, then remove your pencils and old keys from the drawer. Turn it on its side so the legs are facing you. Now, take it outside, put it on the curb and hope someone takes it. Then go buy yourself a new end table.

6. Corncobs

Take a clean corncob and make a terrifying doll out of it using felt, googly eyes and your husband's whiskers. Put it on your kitchen counter and when your kids ask what it is, say "He comes to life when you don't eat your vegetables."

7. Scarves

You will need an old scarf, approximately 15 inches by 15 inches, and an old mop handle for this project. Lay the scarf flat, then tie two corners to the mop handle around 4 inches apart. Start waving it wildly around like a flag and yelling, "I surrenderrrrr!" in a drunk voice to scare your family when you're overrun with chores.

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8. Old Neckties

Collect a bunch of old neckties and then give them to someone who will either weave them into a skirt or a chair cushion. Make it clear to that person that they are never to gift you with a skirt or a chair cushion.

9. Starbucks Cups

Save all of your Starbucks cups for a month. Rinse them with warm water and then dry thoroughly with a paper towel. Take a Sharpie and write the cost of each drink on the cup, and then use a calculator to add them up. After you have your total, put all of the cups in a blender with water and some dried flowers and make some pretty paper out of them so that you aren't so depressed.

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