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This Is Why You Need Mom Friends

Photograph by Twenty20

The other day I went over to my friend’s house with my toddler. He started crying on the way over there and didn’t stop until we left ... an hour later. We walked in the front door and he was bawling his eyes out. I offered him a snack, and he just threw it on the ground. We tried to play with my friend’s daughter’s toys, and he resisted through his tears. My friend took him in her arms and tried to console him herself, while telling me to sit for a second. She could see my horror. She could see my confusion. She could sense my embarrassment and frustration. But she didn’t judge me or send me away or ignore the situation. She tried to help.

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And this, this right here, is why you need mom friends.

Mom friends understand what you’re going through, because they’re going through it, too.

Mom friends understand. Mom friends are right there in the thick of this crazy journey of motherhood with you. They get the overwhelming feelings of desperation and frustration and sense of drowning. They get the sleepless nights trying to console your colicky baby and the days that seem to never end. They get the “mom brain” moments and the feelings of losing yourself to motherhood.

They just get you like no other can. Because they’re here, too.

Mom friends don’t judge. They walk into your messy house and breathe a sigh of relief, because it looks a whole lot like their own. Mom friends will take your sobbing toddler and try to calm him down, and they won’t bat an eye when there’s nothing to be done but ride it out. Mom friends will be a shoulder to cry on, an understanding glance, a coffee date spent entirely chasing after your kids and barely getting in two words of adult conversation. Mom friends know that you probably won’t have time to answer a phone call, but a check-in text is always a good idea. Mom friends understand what you’re going through, because they’re going through it, too.

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Don’t get me wrong, your childless friends are just as amazing and valuable, but mom friends bring something different. We all need that village. We all need that group to remind us that we aren’t alone in this road of motherhood.

We need the constant reminder that what seems like a circus to us is actually very normal. And what a relief that is.

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