Being a mom is hard work. Spending your days surrounded by other people’s fecal matter, with dried spit-up on your shirt and stale Cheerios lining the interior of your car, it’s definitely anything but glamorous. Sure, it’s a messy job and one that can drive you crazy most days, but it’s also the most rewarding one I can think of. And we all know the good far outweighs the bad.
With that said, just because internally we may be going insane more often than not, we as moms don’t want that to show on the outside. So today I’m sharing all of the secret ways to not look like a crazy hot mess. It’s possible! It is. And once you follow these guidelines, you’ll have people asking you, "How do you always look so put together?!" in no time!
1. Stock up on dry shampoo.
Nobody has to know that your hair was a greasy knotted mess two hours ago when you woke up. Spritz on that dry shampoo, scrunch, brush and repeat as many times as necessary throughout the day/week. See also: nobody needs to know the last time you actually washed your hair.
2. Wear a hat!
When all else fails and your hair just will not cooperate, no matter how much dry shampoo you piled on, just put a hat on it. A cute hat, whether it be a baseball hat (sporty mom!) or a wide-brim fedora (so on trend!) is part of any good mom ensemble.
I am never, ever, ever, for the sake of sanity, above bribery to get kids to behave in public.
3. Pack extra clothes.
For you and your kids. Stain on your shirt? Not a problem, you have an extra! Kid peed his pants? No worries, you’ve got an extra pair! Always be prepared, no matter where you are or what happens to you.
4. Wear concealer!
Because yes, you got roughly two hours of uninterrupted sleep last night, and yes, the bags under your eyes reveal that fact to the world, but nobody needs to know that. Cover them up with a swipe of concealer and some mascara, and you’re good to go!
5. Drink the coffee.
Just all of the coffee. If an IV was possible, I would suggest that, but I suppose a Starbucks card will suffice. Or a Nespresso. Those are neat too.
6. Wear the babies.
If you have more than one, and one of those is a baby, invest in a baby carrier of some sort and wear her! Having your hands free is a total game changer. You’ll actually be able to do things—like brush your hair and get yourself ready!
7. Always have reinforcements.
I am never, ever, ever, for the sake of sanity, above bribery to get kids to behave in public. I like to think of it more as "positive reinforcements" or "motivators" rather than "bribes" but call it what you will: it works. So have the candy or the stickers or whatever it is that makes your kid happy readily available to allow yourself a 10 minute trip to the grocery store sans tantrums. I, for on,e will not judge.
8. Never leave the house without baby wipes.
Just don’t do it. They are seriously multi-purpose. I swear those things can fix anything and everything. Sticky fingers, spilled drinks, makeup smudges, messy faces and of course, diaper changes. Never be without the wipes.