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Code Words Parents Use for Sex

Photograph by Twenty20

Sex. Most of us are having it, right? I know that my husband and I like to enjoy some intimate time together once the kids have gone to bed.

But it’s different now.

Before kids, we could talk freely about sex and do it any time the mood would strike. But with two kids and busy schedules, we now have to plan when we can have some quality time together.

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When little ears are around, we can’t just come out and say, “Hey, let’s have sex tonight!” Not unless we want to answer a bunch of questions, which at this stage in life … no, just no. So we came up with a code. One of us will casually mention, “We need to pay the bills tonight,” with a little eyebrow raise and the other one — depending on how tired they are — will catch on.

It might sound crazy, but it works for us.

Another couple will say that they're going to their bedroom to talk about Christmas.

Recently, one of my favorite authors and speakers, Jen Hatmaker, shared on her Facebook page that she mentioned to her husband that she had shaved her legs that day. Ahem! She said it in front of their kids, but they’re a bit older than mine, and with eyes wide open they realized exactly what “I shaved my legs” was code for.

It was mortifying and hilarious.

I loved hearing that my husband and I are not the only ones who use code words for sex. Clearly other parents know the struggle. The comment section was filled with other moms and their stories. One woman and her husband simply say they’re heading upstairs to watch a movie (“Jurassic Park” if you’re wondering.) Another couple asks each other if they’re in the mood for “danger.”

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I even asked around the internet world and got some pretty funny code words other parents are using. One woman said that she and her husband have special nicknames for their “parts,” so they will say, “so and so want to see each other.” Another couple will say that they're going to their bedroom to talk about Christmas. They make sure the kids know to stay away so the Christmas surprise isn’t ruined. Another couple I know keeps it simple by just calling it “me and you time.” Bless their young children’s hearts for not knowing what that means yet.

So you see, as parents, our sex life hasn’t died off. We just have to get a little more creative. Hey, at least it keeps things interesting!

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