Man, you screwed up. But that’s what you do. You screw up.
At this point, you’re probably better known as an epic screw-up than you are
as a lawyer or politician. First you screwed up by going on a crazed sexting
binge despite being a married politician. As a human being and a Democrat, I
was disappointed in you but hoped you had learned your lesson. But then came another
sexting scandal, this time involving a woman named Sydney Leathers (great
name, by the way) and your once-promising political career was over.
I again hoped you had learned your lesson, particularly since your
now-estranged wife occupies a crucial role in the Clinton campaign, which made
you and a woman we all think should have left you long ago big, juicy targets
for Trump’s character attacks. Then came the latest scandal, where you once
again sexted with an attractive stranger, this time a proud Trump supporter you
inexplicably imagined would be a discreet partner.
So on behalf of all dads out there, I couldn't be more disgusted by you.
This time I was disappointed in you as a husband and a father. In what might
be the creepiest element of this ugly story to date, you referred to your child
as a “chick magnet” during your flirtatious texting banter, and in one of the
many photos you sent your would-be paramour, your son is lying next to you as
you lie in bed in a pair of tight, bulge-hugging jockeys that are as much your
trademark as a complete lack of morals, judgment and self-restraint.
But what I find particularly abhorrent is your carelessness in combining
fatherhood with your sex life. Sending a sexy photo of yourself with your child
in the frame is borderline unforgivable, as is the fact that you sent the woman
you were sexting with a number of cute pictures of your son.
But your mistakes don’t just make you look bad. They reflect terribly
on dads as a whole, particularly single dads or stay- at-home dads. I can’t help
but imagine that you’ve now planted a seed of doubt in wives and mothers
who now have to worry that while they’re off making a living, their partner
might be out sexting up a storm, and roping their child into their sad,
desperate attempt to get laid.
So on behalf of all dads out there, get your shit together! For
a smart man, you sure behave like a raging idiot and a huge dick—no pun
intended—although it’s hard to avoid salacious puns when writing about a dude
named Weiner who tragically can’t keep his wiener in his pants.