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Dear Stressed Out Mom, Chill Out!

Photograph by Twenty20

I’ve been noticing a trend happening lately. The trend is stressed out moms. Moms everywhere are being too hard on themselves. They want to do it all. They want a clean house styled to perfection, gourmet dinners every night, arts and crafts projects with the kids. And when they inevitably drop the ball, because we’re all human, they come down on themselves hard.

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I'm always in awe of every mother I meet. It seems like moms really are doing it all these days. I have mom friends who work full-time while juggling children’s school schedules and after-school activities. I have mom friends who work from home, making money and caring for small children at the same time. I have mom friends who are stay-at-home moms and do fun projects with their kids at home and nutritious dinners most nights.

These women are amazing in my eyes. I see how hard they work and how much they love their families. It’s inspiring. And yet, in recent weeks many of these women have lamented over something they have “messed up.” They've wondered if they're bad moms and what more they could be doing for their children.

I want to shake them and remind them of how awesome they are. They’re truly doing the very best they can be doing. Their children are thriving. Why are they so stressed out about being perfect?

We can’t keep beating ourselves up every time something goes wrong.

I’m sure it has something to do with the current mindset towards mothers in general. It often seems like all of society is taking a crap on us. We're judged and scrutinized for every little decision we make. Everyone expects perfection from us, so we start to expect perfection from ourselves. Not one little slip-up is allowed, lest we be deemed unfit parents.

But moms, we can’t keep doing this.

We can’t keep beating ourselves up every time something goes wrong. We can’t always be worried about how every little thing will affect our kids: that TV show, that french fry, that cough.

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I’m worried that moms are no longer enjoying motherhood. Yes, we want the best for our kids. We want to be good moms, but we can’t be stressed out all the time and thinking the worst. Life is passing us by and we’re missing the beauty in the chaos.

So let's all just chill out and stop stressing so much. Chances are that if you’re at all stressed about being a good mom, then you’re probably already a great mom. So don’t be so hard on yourself. Your kids won’t remember every mistake you made, they’ll just remember the unconditional love you have for them.

And as clichéd as it sounds, it really does go so fast, so let's enjoy the time we have with them.

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