Every Sunday night, the husband and I do it—watch “Homeland,” that is. And that’s about all we do. We put the kids to bed, cozy up in our bed, and turn on the TV to watch our favorite show. If you’re a “Homeland” lover like we are, you know the show is about a bi-polar CIA agent who may or may not have problems with alcohol and sex addiction and who had a child with a military man turned terrorist.
Sound sexy? Well as I’ve found out each and every Sunday night, it’s not. Oh, the show is fabulous with its intense storylines that can make you want to pop a Xanax to just get through, but watching the world nearly get blown up each and every week isn’t exactly a turn on.
Yet, we still watch. In fact there’s a whole host of shows that are edgy, scary, intense, and downright mind-numbing that while fun to watch, are a total sex buzzkill. Then there’s the shows you love that will bore your spouse to sleep. Clearly, we all need to get busy before turning on our favorite shows because these are just nine shows that will surely kill your sex life:
Terrorism? Yup. Intrigue? Yup. Anxiety? Yup. Sex with the hubs afterward? Probably not.
Showtime’s “The Affair” gets under my skin, but I can’t stop watching. The told-from-all-points-of-view storytelling leads me to like and hate all the characters at once. Job well done, writers! But the story of infidelity, lies, and murder taps into married people’s biggest fears, not into our inner sexy.
American Horror Story
The “Glee” guys strike again, but this time in a haunted house with human-eating creatures. “AHS” gets under your skin, but it doesn’t make you want to show any. Well, there’s always another night.
The Walking Dead
Zombies are trying to take over the world. If that’s not enough to make you want to take off that lingerie and put on those cozy sweat pants, nothing will. Sidebar: Norman Reedus is so hot on the show, there’s a chance the very sight of him might turn things around. Or are you a Jeffrey Dean Morgan kind of a gal?
Halfway though the first one you’ve got tee’d up on your DVR, the hubs will have gotten so bored he’ll be deep in to his R.E.M. sleep never to be woken up again.
The Showtime show about a forensics expert who's actually a serial killer may have been cancelled, but it’s still alive in my memory. Michael C. Hall is so good as Dexter Morgan the very thought of him makes me want to hide. So if you’ve got old episodes of “Dexter” stores up in your DVR, maybe get your sexy on before pressing play. Otherwise, it probably won’t happen. Yikes!
The Real Housewives
The Real Housewives of anywhere are neither scary nor creepy, well except when they get into one of their famous catfights. In fact, the housewives are fabulous. Watching the girls duke it out is like watching a gladiator match you don’t have to be a part of. That’s great for you, but probably not so great for your hubs who will make comments like, “Didn’t we watch this one already?” Uh, no. Or, “Why do you watch this crap?” Because I love them! Halfway though the first one you’ve got tee’d up on your DVR, the hubs will have gotten so bored he’ll be deep in to his R.E.M. sleep never to be woken up again.
Orange Is The New Black
There’s nothing like a show about a group of women, most of whom have been taken advantage of in their lives, who are now imprisoned together to make a gal not want to get sexy. I love the show, but the very thought of being in jail gives me so much anxiety that it has me rocking back and forth in a corner. I love the show, but the orange jumpsuits don’t do anything for a girl’s libido. So, no.
A show about a missing child? Uh, not gonna happen.
The Man In The High Castle
Whenever my hubs turns this Amazon show on, I know it’s not going to happen that night. The episodes seem to last forever and I have no idea what’s going on. Now I know how the hubs feels when I dive into the Real Housewives.
So what’s the answer? Take the TV out of the bedroom? Don’t watch TV at all? Ditch some of your favorite shows? Well, hopefully not. I say get busy with the hubs before you get busy watching TV. That way all that good TV out there won’t kill your sex life each and every night.