But whenever I see a house tour of someone with young children I smile, knowingly. Where is the cereal on the floor? Where is the toy clutter?
I'm an insider, you see. I have a house with young children. Their house doesn't really look like that. Ever.
Below, you can tour my home. The "design tour" version and the "real life with kids" version. Welcome!
Have you seen those hand painted or stenciled stairways on house tours? We have those. We have a unique wrought iron railing too.
Only this is what the staircase actually looks like:
Tan baby gate at the bottom. Green poultry netting tied to the wrought iron railing. Oh yes.
Custom design requires custom babyproofing. Remember that. It sucks.
Next up is the ubiquitous bookshelf. Every house tour has one. Sometimes they are built-ins. Sometimes not. But they always have a color coordinated display of books interspersed with art, frames, vintage globes and cool stuff like that.
We totally have one of those artsy bookshelves. Vintage globe and all.
Only this is what it actually looks like:
The bookshelf display changed some when the little guy started getting mobile. And ripping pages. And throwing vintage things.
But all the cool stuff is still there.
Dining room next!
Why yes I have an antique china hutch that I painted turquoise and distressed. And of course I have a funky tablecloth and a teak wooden bowl in the center to showcase fresh fruit from the trees in my yard. And see the lovely wall color? It is Benjamin Moore in sweet honeydew melon. Don't you love the vintage maps of wine regions on the wall? Not to mention my vintage milk glass collection by Hazel Atlas.
Totally design blog worthy, yes?
Only this is what the dining room actually looks like:
My kids added their own finish to the china hutch with permanent markers. The tablecloth had to be removed because they like to pull it off magician style. The walls are splattered with spaghetti sauce. And also squash.
So why don't we move on and see the bedroom!
Handmade, modern quilt on the bed. Handpainted headboard. Minimalist. Clean. Fresh. Don't you feel relaxed just looking at this room?
Only this is what the bedroom actually looks like:
The bed was moved to make way for a diaper changing area so the headboard doesn't line up. Piles of diapers on the dresser and wipes on the floor. Bed rail. Um.
Wait! Don't go! There is one more room to see!
My living room is also amazing. It is the most used room in the house so it is the most important.
I've saved the best for last.
See the mid-century modern style I've got going on? Oh yeah, baby. Those design blogs are knocking at my door.
Only this is what it really looks like:
Most used room? Yeah, this doesn't even need an explanation.
So next time you see a house tour where the owners have young children, just smile knowingly.
They are stepping on cereal just like the rest of us.