Behold the joys of new motherhood. Sore lady bits, postpartum
jiggles, and exhaustion beyond all human comprehension are just a few of the
things new mothers trade for a baby more perfect and beautiful than they could
have ever imagined.
While my fellow mothers and I would gladly do it all over again,
it doesn’t mean new motherhood is easy.
As the proud mother of two, I can honestly say that new moms
deserve the benefits of time and space. As much as I appreciated the steady
flow of visitors after delivery, I found myself wishing there was some sort of mandatory
waiting period. Seriously people, I just had a baby; please leave me alone. I’m
sore everywhere, it hurts to pee, I’m scared to poop, and I’m pretty sure my
breasts might just launch missiles … at your face.
Is it really so
much to ask of our newborn-addicted public to patiently wait until the swelling in
our southern regions goes down? And if it is, perhaps the best compromise
requires well-wishers to be put to good use. Heaven knows, a new mama could surely
use the help!
It’s not that new mothers don’t appreciate the attention
friends and family want to bestow upon baby; it’s just that she’s navigating tidal
waves of exhaustion, elation, and hormones seeking new balance. If you’re
wondering what all of this means for you, I’ll tell you: New moms are in
survival mode, a mode lacking the time or energy to be wasted on social
pleasantries. As such, we the public owe it to new moms to offer assistance
without expectation. May we never have to learn the hard way that hell hath no
fury like a new mother’s inhibited tongue.