Every day I’m with my with little ones. Nonstop. Like, I pee with an audience. I shower with someone knocking on the door too. And I love it all. Being a stay-at-home mom is the greatest thing ever and exactly what I told my husband I wanted to be “when I grew up” during our dating days. But, it doesn’t go without its hardships. My greatest blessing is also my greatest struggle.
And it all goes back to loneliness.
Not alone, never alone, but lonely inside my mind and my heart. Because motherhood takes everything I have.
I average an hour or two of adult interaction each day when my husband gets home from work, but that doesn’t come close to filling my tank. Especially because, although we talk, it’s lots of logistics about dinner prep and bath time and his work day. Thank goodness for our occasional date nights when we leave and reset!
To beat loneliness I have to be intentional and I know other moms find themselves seeking the cure for loneliness alongside me. We have to or else we'll scare the grocery checker with our incessant chatter and longing for a deeper relationship!
Take a peek at how these moms are putting loneliness on the shelf and finding solace and camaraderie during their days as a SAHM …
"Video chatting with friends and family during the normal course of the day. Seriously the best! We have coffee together, eat lunch, and just do life and feel like we're doing it together". - Mindy W.
"Making it out to mom's group every Friday no matter what the subject or project is just to get adult time." - Pat B.
"The women's hiking group my sister and I started a few years ago has been life changing for me. Women need real-life relationships and even with young kids, it's critical that we still invest in our friendships." - Angela S.
"Regularly take your kids and go meet other moms for a walk. When my kids were little we would meet at the mall before opening and let them play in the play area after our walk. In the summer, we would walk around the lake or along the boardwalk downtown and finish at the park for the kids to play. Have plenty of snacks and toys for the little ones so you can enjoy an adult conversation." - Tanya M.
"Silly as it sounds, audiobooks on personal or spiritual growth. Just hearing an adult voice speak of adult things that cause introspection on who I am as an adult help very much to remove my mind from the mundane and the five little kids under my feet daily grind. Helps me keep in perspective who I am, not just what I do." - Sophia N.
I finally started reaching out to women I'd become online friends with.
"Crash a friend's house!" - Megan B.
"I'm a SAHM in the summer months and my husband is gone a lot during that time. I was finding it very difficult to find me time or time to connect with other adults. I ended up taking a job at the local farmers market for just four hours one night a week. It was a short enough time that I could line up play dates for my kids or grandma could watch them. I made so many wonderful connections with local farmers and people in the community and I got to walk around and shop the booths and eat yummy food. It was the perfect little get away. It didn't feel like work at all." - Bree W.
"The gym! Gym partners have become amazing friends—we hang out in the sauna together for an extra 10 minutes to encourage each other." - Amy J.
"Prayer, lots of prayer!" - Bonnie H.
"I went years feeling a bit isolated. But I had very little family help and didn't have a very large village. My husband was—and is—my best friend so we made sure to connect each day. It was challenging since he worked 12 hour night shifts and had a crazy schedule. His sleep cycles were so off. But we survived! We had to be intentional to be relational." - LaDonna S.
"I finally started reaching out to women I'd become online friends with. Sounds hilarious, but I was desperate for some friends, even if they lived in other cities and I couldn't meet up with them! I'd say 'Hey, we should swap phone numbers!' And then I'd have someone to text or call when I felt lonely. - Sarah G.
"As a hardcore introvert, I have to remind myself that I don't have to break out of the 'funk' by being with other people, necessarily. What I do need is to engage in the things that nourish me—reading, writing, cooking/baking, sewing, sleeping (when I can!). If I purposefully add those things into my life then the stretches of kid-and-me time are much more enjoyable and endurable." - Jamie D.