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Doctors Warn Against This Sparkly Trend

Photograph by Twenty20

Girls haven't always known or understood a lot about their vaginas, a situation that often doesn't change even as she becomes a woman. What we have been taught is to wipe them properly and keep them clean and, if we're reading our moms correctly, basically honor thy vagina.

A new trend appears to ignore the Notorious V.A.G.'s golden rule. Women are storing glitter bombs in cupid's cupboard. They are inserting glitter-filled capsules into their vaginas, and doctors everywhere are freaking out.

Pretty Woman Inc., the makers of Passion Dust, insist that their capsules are "just enough to make your lover feel that your Yara (water-lady or little butterfly) is what all vaginas are supposed to look, feel and taste like; soft, sweet and magical!"

Apparently, the magic happens when a sparkalized shuttle is launched into the vagina at least 1 hour before having sexual intercourse. As the capsules become increasingly warmed and "moistened" (yes, they went there) by the natural vaginal fluids, it will begin to dissolve releasing the sparkling, candy flavored Passion Dust inside of the capsule.

It's OK if you want to take a quick break and throw up, but do it quickly because there's more.

Aside from unpleasant inflammation caused by tiny scratches to the vaginal mucosa during intercourse, users of this sparkly product might also be welcoming harmful bacteria into their vaginal walls. But hey, that's what happens when you throw a rave over the Twatlantic Ocean.

"The vagina contains a delicate balance of good bacteria, which are there to protect it," Dr Vanessa Mackay, spokesperson for the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, told reporters. "If women place foreign objects inside their vagina, they risk disturbing this balance which may lead to infection, such as bacterial vaginosis or thrush, and inflammation."

The best part about the whole exploding vagina glitter pill debacle is the disclaimer on their website that states, "There are more harmful glitters, chemicals and additives in the lip gloss you wear or the highlighter on your face or eyeshadow than what is in this product. If you've ever had vaginal issues, you had them before you used Passion Dust anyway."

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