Even though we
may not always agree, motherhood is a cult, often confirmed by a knowing glance
from across the room. We get it, we understand and your eyes don't lie: You
haven't slept in at least three years and you're definitely one of us. Join the club—neither have we.
It doesn’t take
long before the demands of a baby result in a few sleepless nights years
for mom. Because of this, it seems only fair that she should be recognized for
her dedication, hard work and commitment to the cause.
But why would
anyone thank mom for “time served” when she can’t even prove how much sleep
she's lost? The answer is actually just a few clicks away.
Leave it to a
blind, curtain, shutter and carpet company out of the U.K. to add sleep estimates
to their repertoire. The
Lost Sleep Calculator by Hillarys is an interactive calculator that
pinpoints exactly how many hours of sleep you've lost since giving birth,
making it easy for tired moms to do the math.
To use, simply
plug in the month and year of your child’s age and hit "calculate." In a
matter of seconds, the app will calculate your lost sleep as well as
guesstimate how many diapers you’ve changed, the number of bedtime stories
you’ve read and how many sweet lullabies you’ve sung to your child. Those with
multiple children can add them to equation.
Photograph by mom.me
Photograph by mom.me
For example, a
mother with three kids (ages 1, 2 and 3) may lose close to 8,496 hours' worth of
sleep (that's 12 months of sheer bliss she can never get back) versus a mother
of a 9-year-old who only loses five months.
Still, it's fun
to calculate, and the add-on statistics they include in your report are
hysterical, such as how many people have accidentally poured breast milk into
their coffee, or mistakenly cradled the house cat thinking it was a baby.
But the game
doesn't end there. Aside from casting a few numbers and data out for the sake
of amusement, the app does something more. It supports a mother’s complaint
(maybe not totally accurately, but still) that she doesn’t get enough sleep and validates
And at the end
of the day, when waging war against others who claim to have gotten less sleep
than you, the numbers—much like our eyes—do not lie.
How much sleep do
your kids cost you? Go ahead and brag.