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Actual Proof Moms Get Less Sleep Than Everyone Else

Photograph by Twenty20

Even though we may not always agree, motherhood is a cult, often confirmed by a knowing glance from across the room. We get it, we understand and your eyes don't lie: You haven't slept in at least three years and you're definitely one of us. Join the club—neither have we.

Lack of sleep comes with the baby territory. It's all part of the magical journey that every mother dreams of avoiding. That is, if she ever goes to bed.

It doesn’t take long before the demands of a baby result in a few sleepless nights years for mom. Because of this, it seems only fair that she should be recognized for her dedication, hard work and commitment to the cause.

But why would anyone thank mom for “time served” when she can’t even prove how much sleep she's lost? The answer is actually just a few clicks away.

Leave it to a blind, curtain, shutter and carpet company out of the U.K. to add sleep estimates to their repertoire. The Lost Sleep Calculator by Hillarys is an interactive calculator that pinpoints exactly how many hours of sleep you've lost since giving birth, making it easy for tired moms to do the math.

To use, simply plug in the month and year of your child’s age and hit "calculate." In a matter of seconds, the app will calculate your lost sleep as well as guesstimate how many diapers you’ve changed, the number of bedtime stories you’ve read and how many sweet lullabies you’ve sung to your child. Those with multiple children can add them to equation.

Photograph by mom.me
Photograph by mom.me

For example, a mother with three kids (ages 1, 2 and 3) may lose close to 8,496 hours' worth of sleep (that's 12 months of sheer bliss she can never get back) versus a mother of a 9-year-old who only loses five months.

Still, it's fun to calculate, and the add-on statistics they include in your report are hysterical, such as how many people have accidentally poured breast milk into their coffee, or mistakenly cradled the house cat thinking it was a baby.

But the game doesn't end there. Aside from casting a few numbers and data out for the sake of amusement, the app does something more. It supports a mother’s complaint (maybe not totally accurately, but still) that she doesn’t get enough sleep and validates her frustrations.

And at the end of the day, when waging war against others who claim to have gotten less sleep than you, the numbers—much like our eyes—do not lie.

How much sleep do your kids cost you? Go ahead and brag.

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