If a Man Got Credit for What You Said, He Just 'Hepeated' You
by Angelica Lai
Photograph by Twenty20
Now that we all know what "mansplaining" is, there's a new term on the block to describe a very frustrating but frequent thing that happens to women: "hepeating." Just hearing the word speaks to our souls.
Astronomer and professor Nicole Gugliucci explained the term on Twitter last week: "My friends coined a word: hepeated. For when a woman suggests an idea and it's ignored, but then a guy says same thing and everyone loves it."
Sentence examples that you can use include, "Ugh, I got hepeated in that meeting again!" or "He totally hepeated me!"
This word can come in handy when calling out not only the selective listening and appropriation that happens in the workplace but also in the classroom when a male classmate hepeats your analysis during discussion, or at home, when the kids hate your idea of going grocery shopping but when Dad says the exact same thing, they're suddenly all excited. Or if your husband starts repeating your arguments in a fight, instead of saying, "That's just what I said" or "You're not really listening," tell him to check his hepeating.
Some people pointed out that it can also apply to people of color and offered an alternative term for these cases: "rewhite."
If you find yourself at the receiving end of hepeating again, here are a few solutions to try. Female White House staffers under President Obama told The Washington Post that they used the "amplification" tactic. That is, the women will repeat each other's ideas as much as possible and praise the person who came up with the idea before a man has time to hepeat it.
You can also clue your boss or the hepeat offender in to their mistake by asking him how you can better convey your ideas so that he notices and understands it the first time around. When a hepeating just happened, use language like, "Thanks for agreeing with me. As I said ... " and continue to point out when you're being hepeated.
And, for men reading this (because the burden to minimize hepeating shouldn't be on women), if you notice someone being hepeated, speak up and give credit where credit is due: "Yeah, Joe, I agree with what you said. Jane's idea was great, wasn't it?" Let's all try to prevent history from hepeating itself.