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Woman Finds Scathing Childhood Letter to Tooth Fairy

9-year-old writes scathing letter to the tooth fairy

Any kid worth his or her salt knows that the only good part about losing your teeth is the whole business of the tooth fairy. Stuffing a baby tooth under your pillow at night, waiting in eager anticipation and waking in the morning to some cold hard cash is just about one of those most magical parts of childhood. (Second only to a visit from Santa or the Easter Bunny, of course.)

Back in 1991, a 9-year-old girl named Jennifer knew this better than anyone; which is why, after the tooth fairy forgot to stop by her room not just once, but twice in one year, she decided it was time to lay down the law. Two lost teeth had gone unrefunded, childhood dreams were shattered and this simply was not going to happen again.

And so, Jennifer sat down with a pencil and a sheet of looseleaf to write a letter to this so-called "tooth fairy"—and she did not mince words. The stern letter, which Jennifer recently shared on Reddit, has since gone viral:

In case you didn't catch some of , the letter reads:

(Not very) Dear T. F. — This is the second time you’ve done this. You forgot me. So if you’re not going to come, then I’m going to keep my own teeth. You are through collecting teeth. From Jennifer. From now on I’m keeping my own teeth. Unsincerely, Jennifer E. P.S. Keep collecting from Mike, though. Obviously you like him better. P.P.S. Don’t bother to write back.

The nearly 15-year-old missive had long been filed away in Jennifer's memory bank until a few weeks ago, when she stopped by her parent's house for a visit and mentioned it to her dad.

"He walked right over to a book on the shelf and pulled it out,” she told Yahoo. “My mom keeps all of my adorable things—like my kindergarten graduation cape—and my dad keeps all the snarky things, so it made sense that he would have it."

(Jen's dad: The Internet thanks you.)

As for Jennifer, who now goes by Jenny, she's now all-grown-up, and mom to a 7-year-old son and a 9-year-old daughter of her own. While her kids haven't yet mentioned any skepticism about the tooth fairy, she has forgotten to leave money before in the same way her dad once did.

"I’ve forgotten to leave money before and had to come up with excuses for why the tooth fairy was late, though none were as good as my mom’s," she shared. "Recently I used, ‘You lost the tooth really late in the afternoon so the fairy already got her list for the day. She’ll catch up with you tomorrow.’ I think it worked!"

But if Jenny every does get called out on her lateness with a letter from one of her kids, she'd be wise to take a pointer from her own parents, who responded to her 1991 brilliantly.

“[The response letter] basically said, ‘I couldn’t get to your pillow the night before last because I got stuck in all the mess. Maybe if you clean your room, I could get to you in a timely manner."

Hmmm ... we may have to use that trick some time.

Photo via Reddit

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