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Introducing the Worst Baby Shower (and Best Friend) Ever

Photograph by Twenty20

One mom's Facebook plea for baby shower help is getting some pretty harsh blowback from parents all over the internet.

Featured on the Sanctimommy Facebook page, which is dedicated to sharing stories about moms behaving badly, the post definitely takes the cake. The baby shower cake, that is.

Photograph by Facebook

Screen-captured with the woman's name blacked out (to protect the not-so-innocent), the post reads, in part:

"[M]y BFF is having a son and I offered to help plan her baby shower. She thinks she is going to circumcise so I'm planning to theme the party-ish around NOT circumcising her perfect boy. I found a little ankle band that I can gift her that is for the hospital stating not to retract and not to circ. ... I need other ideas on how to subtly include this at her baby shower so it opens a dialogue with her family, too, and maybe she will actually think about it."

Yes, someone is planning an anti-circumcision baby shower. Because what better time is there to push your parenting beliefs on someone else than at the party meant to celebrate them and their baby-to-be? While we’re at it, someone should probably go ahead and throw a “Formula Is Poison” baby shower, a “Real Moms Stay Home” baby shower and a “Vaccinate … Or Else” baby shower.

Let's just get all the mommy wars out there. Forget party games! Why not put a mud-wrestling pit in the middle of the room and let the mamas on warring sides have at it?

(For the purposes of the hate email this article is bound to generate, this writer would like to clarify: My only child is a daughter, and I have never been responsible for circumcising anyone. But my baby was primarily formula-fed and she did begin daycare at 4-1/2 months old. So, you know, go to town.)

As you can imagine, literally no one is taking this baby shower plan well. One commenter noted, “I would be super concerned about why my ‘friend’ is so obsessed with my son’s penis as to throw a party about it. Seems like a disgusting obsession to me …”

Another noted, “As much as I disagree with routine infant circumcision, I also disagree with hijacking somebody’s baby shower.”

You can be anti-circumcision and still know it is in no way appropriate to turn the baby shower you’re throwing into a propaganda party. And there is no way this woman is truly anyone’s “BFF” if she thinks this is OK. Or if she is, she deserves to get dumped ASAP. Because, no.

But if there is one silver lining here, it’s the pure comedic gold that can be found in the comments of the original post. Like the woman who said, “A real friend would show up at the hospital and kidnap the baby before the circumcision. That’s really the only subtle way to do it. Her friend will thank her later. #knowbetterdobetter”

Or the one who wrote, “Pahaha! I’m from the UK and we don’t circumcise our boys routinely like in the US, but frankly, if someone did this to me, I’d circumcise my kid just to spite her!”

And then there was the husband who weighed in by writing, “If she wanted to do it right she’d make those ankle bands out of foreskin!”

Dead. We’re dead.

There was one commenter who summed up what we’re all thinking, though:

“Is there any way that we can get an update on how this baby shower goes? Does anyone know the mother-to-be? Can I get an invite? Can we get pictures? My life will never be complete until I find out what happens …”

We’re right there with you. Because really, no matter which side of the circumcision debate you’re on, you know you want to know.

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